Who's your Daddy, KC?

It ain't Buffalo. First, UC hires a football coach

Momentarily, we’ll re-bask in the Sunday night glow. For now, this:

DOES UC HAVE A FOOTBALL COACH YET? Yes, Scott Satterfield, former Louisville head coach, is UC’s guy. Anybody have him on their coaching wheel of fortune?

I understand that John Cunningham is a deliberate, measured fellow. He’d rather be right than first. Only lots of the time, when picking a football coach for your quasi-am team, first is right.

The rumored prized catches — Deion, Hartline, Herman — were off the board. As recently as Friday, I’d heard Cunningham had interest in Tennessee offensive coordinator Alex Golesh. Then, whoop-whoop-whoop, South Florida hired him.

So, Satterfield is your guy. You thrilled?

CBS Sports:

Satterfield was 25-24 in four years leading the Cardinals, including a 7-5 record in 2022. That record included a four-game winning streak in the middle of the season including a win over then-No. 10 Wake Forest, but lost two of their last three games including a 26-13 loss to rival Kentucky on Nov. 26. They earned a berth in the Fenway Bowl where they will take on, ironically, Cincinnati.

"Scott Satterfield is a proven winner, a relentless competitor and a culture builder," Cincinnati athletic director John Cunningham said. "He's an innovative offensive mind and a leader who develops men on and off the field. He's the perfect fit to grow this program and lead us into the Big 12 next season and beyond."

Well, OK. Initial take: The Bearcats got a coach with an average record from a program that’s struggling. Not a big name to excite the base. Not a young, hot newcomer to stoke the energy. A guy who’s 25-24.

Unfair? Maybe. Snap judgment? Of course.

Apologies in advance. But if Florida Atlantic could get Tom Herman, why couldn’t UC get someone of that caliber?

Money. Maybe. The deep-pocketed guys who have ponied up for years simply don’t have the cash on hand to hand out. Or have said, enough. This is what I’m hearing, and it’s not great news for a program with big ambitions.

I recall a conversation I had with Cunningham last spring, re NIL. The UC AD was proud that its deep pocketed folks — known as a “collective’’ — had raised a $1 mil war chest, some of which made Dez Ridder’s life easier.

That’s great. But then I read this back in August, from profootballnetwork.com, about ‘Bama QB Bryce Young:

Before even setting foot on the field as the Alabama starter last fall, Young had already made over $800k thanks to NIL deals with Cash App, Onyx Authenticated, and multiple trading card companies. As he prepares for a quest to the CFB National Championship, Young has an estimated value of $3.2 million.

Three-point-two. For one player. UC had a mil. For the whole team. Maybe for the whole department. men’s basketball very much included.

UC can’t compete with that. It can’t even think about it.

Would-be coaches knew this.

Hang on to your hats, Bearcat fans.

AS FOR THE MEN. . .

I had almost as much adrenaline as Samaje Perine after the W last night — is he your fav’rite Men man now, or what? He’s like tackling sand — so I did 10 Things last night. It’s in the previous post and contains more gushing in 800 words than I managed during the entire Lost Decade. It’s embarrassing, actually.

A few other notes of note:

The Chiefs didn’t play poorly. Other than the egregious fumble by Travis Kelce, they weren’t stumbling around out there. They just got beat, by a team with equal talent, a bit more desire and a QB who had the ball last.

And the rollicking Perine. Anybody who’s ever been told no and abjectly refused to listen has to be in love with this guy. Perine is known best for his strength. He really did lift a SmartCar so a woman could change a tire. And he really did do pullups while hanging from the 2nd-floor balcony of his childhood home in Texas.

What’s more remarkable, though, is his refusal to be tackled. He’s short (5-10) and thick (230) so tackling him is like stopping the lead boulder in an avalanche. But it’s more than that.

Washington drafted him in Round 4 in 2017. The then-Redskins cut him in ‘19. The Bengals picked him up in Sept. ‘19 and cut him the next month, signing him to the practice squad.

Miami signed Perine off the Bengals practice squad on Christmas Eve ‘19, then cut him in April ‘20. The Men re-grabbed him two days later.

The man has bounced around, in other words. Being ping-ponged that way has to have left an impression. Maybe we see that impression in the way Perine runs. Like he’s looking to nail that 7-10 split. Like he’s trying to lift a car or something.

Love it when good things happen to persistent people.

MEANWHILE. . . Joe Burrow said he didn’t care about individual awards such as MVP. It’s the team, dammit. I sort of believe him. But you don’t rise to that level without having a high self-regard and a tiny bit of selfishness within you. I’m pretty sure St, Joe is wondering why he was #7 on lots of MVP lists before Sunday, when Mahomes was #1.

Number Seven. Are these people watching the games?

Trap Game Extraordinaire Sunday at PayJoe. The Browns, fresh off Deshaun Watson’s lousy return, are in town. Maybe only Cleveland would replace a QB who was hitting his stride (Brissett) with a QB who has no stride. Watson’s rust was painful against awful Houston yesterday. It’s hard to imagine it’ll be much smoother this week. Rust never sleeps, as we know. Hey-hey. My-my.

Then again, Cleveland is 3-0 v. Men recently, including 25- and 19-point Ws.

AND SINCE WE’RE ON THE SUBJECT. . . Bengals superfan PKing wrote this afterward:

(Lou) Anarumo’s going to be a popular head-coach interview come the post-season for teams trying to figure how to beat Kansas City; he’s 3-0 against KC since January. Anarumo interviewed for the Giants vacancy last season.

Even if the Bengals have to play road games through the playoffs, I doubt it’d bother them after winning in Nashville and Kansas City last year. That Week 18 game against the Ravens could determine everything, which is why I think it has the best chance of being game 272—the Sunday night game of the last weekend. It could have the most at stake of any final game. My money’s on Burrow if that happens.

Well whaddaya know.

Unless the Ravens get their act together in the next coupla weeks, it’s hard to see them winning at PayJoe with a season on the line. And Lamar hurt his knee yesterday.

King also unearthed this nugget from NextGen Stats, on Burrow’s otherworldly completion on 3rd-and-11 to Tee Higgins that clinched the W:

Next Gen had that Chris Jones, Mike Danna and Frank Clark all crossed the line of scrimmage faster than what’s considered the league’s above-average get-off time of .75 seconds. Danna, who came across in six-tenths of a second, was bearing down on Burrow as he readied to throw in a hurry.

The receiver, Tee Higgins, running a post route, never had more than two yards of separation from Kansas City cornerback Joshua Williams. Watching the replay, Williams looked like he was velcroed to Higgins.

Burrow threw the ball a split-second before getting hit by Danna. At the time of the throw, Williams was 18 inches from Higgins. In his shirt, in other words. When the ball gets to Higgins, he is contacted immediately (and maybe a tick before the ball gets there) by Williams. Burrow got hit. Higgins caught the ball. Gain of 14. Game over.

THE EXPANDED CFB PLAYOFF can’t happen fast enough. Ohio State gets dominated at home by Michigan, doesn’t play this past weekend and, presto, finds itself in the Final 4.

I’m not saying the Buckeyes aren’t deserving. I’m saying no team should back into a Final Four. That wouldn’t happen in a 12-team field. And really, if you’re Michigan, would you rather play TCU or Alabama?

Well, maybe Alabama, as it turns out, pedigrees be damned. The Athletic:

And plucky ol’ TCU?

It beat two top 25 teams, the same number as Alabama. But it also beat a Kansas State team that finished in the top 10 and later returned the favor to become the Big 12 champion. Alabama? It didn’t have a top-10 win and beat only three teams with winning records.

TCU beat five.

TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . Haven’t dusted off this one in awhile. My favorite tune from a Top-5 American band, IMO.