What's so Good About Feeling Bad?

The Blind Side should be a love story. Instead. . .

No good deed goes unpunished.

Have you been following the Michael Oher v. Tuohy Family feud?

No?

Good.

It’s a storybook tale turned sordid, which is to say fairly routine as storybook tales go. Cliff’s Notes:

Wealthy Memphis, TN, family takes in impoverished child whose home life is a straight-up disaster. Child lives the good life that money can provide: Private schools, nice clothes, security within the bonds of a stable family. From the day the Tuohys took him in, Michael Oher never had to worry what he might find when he walked through the front door of his new home. I can tell you from personal experience: From someone who for a time lacked that essential safety, that is priceless.

Author writes book, tangentially about child’s new life. The Blind Side is a mammoth best seller. Child goes on to be a college football star at Ole Miss, becomes a No. 1 draft pick in the NFL and earns more than $30 million before retiring.

Feelgood movie gets made about child’s life. Rich white folks help poor black child! Hollywood goes crazy!

*

Sandra Bullock wins an Oscar, movie makes $300 million. Only in America.

If only the tale ended there. It doesn’t, because money is in deep and in America when money is in deep, bad stuff sometimes happens. Oher didn’t like the way he was portrayed in the movie. Now, he really doesn’t like that he wasn’t paid for his story. Or so he claims.

Oher does what all self-respecting Americans do in these situations. He sues. Forbes:

Retired NFL offensive lineman Michael Oher, whose childhood inspired the 2009 film The Blind Side, filed a petition in a Tennessee state court Monday alleging Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy never adopted him as the film portrays and accusing the family of tricking him into signing a conservatorship agreement, which allowed them to make millions of dollars on his story without paying him anything.

NY Post:

The former Baltimore Ravens Super Bowl winner is seeking to have the conservatorship terminated and asking for a full accounting of the money earned off the use of his name, including the film that made over $300 million at the box office and the novel that inspired it.

The Tuohys have since denied they kept the conservatorship a secret from Oher, said they are “devastated” by allegations that they profited handsomely from his story. "They said the only way Michael could go to Ole Miss was if he was actually part of the family," Touhy told the Daily Memphian. "I sat Michael down and told him, 'If you’re planning to go to Ole Miss – or even considering Ole Miss – we think you have to be part of the family. This would do that, legally.' We contacted lawyers who had told us that we couldn’t adopt over the age of 18. The only thing we could do was to have a conservatorship.’’

The petition said the Tuohys saw Oher as “a gullible young man whose athletic talent could be exploited for their own benefit.”

The combined net worth of Sean Tuohy and his wife is anywhere between $50 million and $100 million, depending on the source. The Tuohys own nearly 100 fast-food restaurants. They don’t need movie money.

And so on.

Every once in awhile, I’d like to buy into a fairy tale and not feel conned. Leave us our pleasant delusions. For once.

It’s sad when nice stories get hijacked by lawyers. What’s worse is the aftermath (ie, now) when cynicism grows like kudzu.

Oher was a lucky young man, who made the most of his luck. The Tuohys were kind people, who made the proverbial difference in one child’s life. If only we could draw the curtain right there.

Instead, persistence and kindness will have their day in court, where each will be found lacking. Cynicism triumphs over all.

G’morning, America. How are ya?

THIS IS TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE, AND I’m sorry about that. My former colleague John Fay passed last week at 66. The apparent cause was a heart attack. More likely, it was a broken heart.

I didn’t know Fayman well. In fact, I barely knew him at all, even as we shared press boxes for a couple decades. That’s probably my bad. I have an arm’s-length personality unless I know you pretty well. That has cost me over the years.

I knew this about John, though. His love for his wife knew no bounds. I recall seeing John and Laura at spring training in Goodyear, where Enquirer hacks shared a house for many Marches. Half a dozen times over the years, I’d arrive back at the place to see John and Laura on the couch in the family room, watching TV. They were almost always holding hands or had their arms around each other.

John’s love for Laura became widely known in the past six months. After she passed last January, John honored Laura with frequent tributes/remembrances on social media. They were astoundingly beautiful odes to the love of his life. Blood on the virtual page. They informed all who read them of the bedrock importance of compassion, empathy and the sort of shared togetherness that makes living worthwhile.

I’ll recall Fayman for those reminders. And thank him always.

I LOVE AL MICHAELS. AND HE’S A HECKUVA BROADCASTER, TOO. Sports Business Journal asked Michaels to respond to opinions that Michaels sounded “bored’’ in the booth last year, while doing NFL games on Amazon Prime:

"Look, sometimes I’ll take some (expletive)," Michaels said. "People say, 'He didn’t get excited enough.' What do you want me to do? Scream, holler, yell the game? That ain’t me. That ain’t (Joe) Buck, that ain’t (Jim) Nantz. I can’t pay attention to anti-social media. Now anybody sitting in a basement has a platform. You can’t let things like that distress you.’’

Professional screamers in the TV booth, please take note.

IT’S VERY POSSIBLE, on mornings such as this, to see the Reds’ very own fairy tale tumbling down the Jack-and-Jill hill. They were dominated last night by an OK Guardians lefthander and looked uninspired doing it.

If you wanna feel worse, read on. CBS Sports:

The Cubs don't lead the NL Central at the moment, but they have far and away the best run differential in the division. That bodes well for the remainder of the season. What also bodes well is that the Cubs play the easiest remaining schedule in all of baseball, as measured by opponents' average winning percentage. That generally accommodating stretch begins with 12 straight games against the White Sox, Royals, Tigers, and Pirates. 

ON THE POSITIVE SIDE, a Yahoo scribe addressed the generally awful line play in the NFL in August, when the starters aren’t playing:

Nowadays, there are guys who fall to the third day of the draft who look like they’ve been built in a lab to rush the passer. On the flip side, there are very few humans who have the requisite size and athleticism to be top-flight offensive linemen — that’s why these guys are still going high in the draft. It’s a rare skill to be able to move like a skill position player at 300+ pounds.

As the preseason routinely shows, most teams are an inch away from catastrophe as far as offensive line talent is concerned.

The Bengals have deep depth in the trenches. You might not like that former 1st-rounder Jonah Williams is fighting to keep right tackle away from previously underachieving Jackson Carman. But that bout should make you feel good about the overall quality of the depth chart.

Williams can play either tackle. Hakeem Adeniji is battle-tested at left tackle, Max Scharping is taking reps at center. Orlando Brown is a mountain. Capps and Karras are solid. Et cetera, et cetera. Something to feel something other than cynical about.

RUFUS ALERT. . . Saw Oppenheimer yesterday. Good, not great, though the guy who plays the bomb-maker Robert Oppenheimer is Oscar-worthy.

My issue wasn’t that the movie was too long. Three hours isn’t a burden with a fascinating story, well told. My problem was, Oppenheimer was too inside baseball for me. Way too much science jabbering, I suppose in the name of authenticity. At times it felt more like a lecture/documentary than a movie.

I was not aware of the guvmint’s aim to discredit Oppenheimer after the fact, for his ancient dalliances with the Communist Party, of which he was never a member, only a curious spectator.

I wanted to see more of his human struggle. What must have been going on, in the constant battleground of his mind? This was a man who wondered if he were saving the world or dooming it. I don’t know how anyone could hold up against that mega-pressure, let alone perform the way he did while facing it.

I didn’t get enough of that. What I got was more cloak-n-dagger than I wanted.

TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . Beach Music didn’t end in the late-50s/early-60s, but it didn’t exactly evolve. Here’s another cool example of the genre — and an excellent 1-hit Wonder — that came out in the late 70s.

My son and I are headed to the mountains tomorrow. See youse Tuesday.