The Joe Burrow Inevitability Scale
As we move past the Remarkable Week That Was
Sweetness and light today, Mobsters. The irony of what I do/did for pay for four decades is, I don’t like conflict. In every other part of my life, I go to considerable lengths to avoid it. That I chose to write sports opinion for a living is a little strange.
Two final thoughts on the sad/wonderful/tragic/hopeful Week of Hamlin, and the Bengals role in it.
Sunday was a day for the NFL to celebrate the small miracle that happened last week. The Bengals should not have made it about their flipping off the league. IMO. If Mixon and friends had used the TD to offer a final tribute to their fallen comrade, I wouldn’t have had enough virtual space to praise them. What if Mixon had pulled a No. 3 jersey from beneath his own and held it up to the TV camera? We’d still be sniffling. For years.
Some folks seemed to believe that because the Bengals were perfectly thoughtful and gracious during the ordeal (and they were) that the league owed them something. Isn’t being a thoughtful, gracious organization reward enough?
(Big ups to Zac Taylor’s wife, by the way. The cards were a very nice touch.)
(WCPO)
That sound you just heard was the TML book closing on a momentous chapter in league history. Across the decades, the Bengals seem to have been involved in way more than their fair share of momentous moments. Back to that momentarily.
Now, then. . .
BURROW THE MAD SCRAMBLER. . . Well, not exactly, but every week he seems a little more mobile, or willing to be mobile. His keen sense of where the pressure is coming from, combined with his big ability to tap-dance among the sharks, was seen in abundance Sunday. That achieves a couple things. It keeps him from taking a sack, but it also helps him stay away from big hits.
Burrow isn’t Allen or Jackson. He’s closer to Mahomes. He reminds of Favre, without the recklessness.
I DO THINK the Ravens will use their beatdown as motivation Sunday night. I don’t think it will matter. Even if Lamar Jackson plays, the Bengals are the better team. The only reason for a Men fan to hold his breath is a lingering lack of 4-quarter consistency.
Joe Burrow was a little off Sunday as well. It’s only because he’s been so On through the 8-game winning streak that we even notice. His inevitability Sunday wasn’t quite as inevitable as it has been. Chalk it up to a rare off day.
INTRODUCING. . . The Joe Burrow Inevitability Scale. I should have started this weeks ago, when I first referred to St. Joe as Inevitable. We’ll do it the rest of this season and all next.
One-to-10, how Inevitable was Joe in any given week? How obvious did he make it that you weren’t going to beat him?
9-10: You lost to the Bengals today and he was the biggest reason why.
6-8: You made it closer than it should have been but lost to the Bengals today because Burrow was slightly less than brilliant.
3-5: You beat the Bengals today because Burrow didn’t beat you.
0-3: There is no 0-3.
On Sunday, Burrow was a 7 on the Burrow Inevitability Scale. He was Joe enough to bury the Ravens early. But the defense had a big say in things after halftime.
WHY ARE THE BENGALS ALWAYS IN THE MIDDLE OF STUFF?
My Men history dates only to 1988, so any prior weirdness escapes me. Fill me in. But here’s what I can recall I’ve witnessed over the years, walking across the Bengals very own Twilight Zone:
Sam Wyche ordering a field goal against Houston, near the end of the ‘88-9 Super season, when his team was up 58-7.
Sam Wyche wearing a mock loincloth, after a game in Oakland, in reaction to the Lisa Olson/Women in the Locker Room debacle. . . which originated at Riverfront Stadium.
Sam Wyche on the mic, not living in Cleveland.
Victoria Crytzer telephoning the Bengals locker room at Spinney Field, looking for the Bengals she claimed attacked her. Ickey Woods, shuffling on the courthouse steps in Seattle, upon being cleared of any wrongdoing in the case.
The ‘15 wild card game v. the Steelers. When it comes to epic collapses, I doubt anything will ever top that.
Stanley Wilson on the eve of the ‘89 Bowl.
Carson Palmer, Kimo von Oelhofen and the increased protection of QBs that resulted, and continues today.
Chris Henry’s tragic death. Ryan Shazier’s tragic, if temporary, paralysis during a Monday night game here in 2017.
Honestly, I’m not sure that the rest of the league’s 31 teams combined have been subject to more tumult than the Bengals have by themselves. And I’m sure I’m missing something.
And finally. . .
When you put real love out into the world it comes back to you 3x’s as much. We brung the world back together behind this. On a long road keep praying for me.
— Damar Hamlin on Instagram last week.
Done and done.
TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . Billy Joel’s finest. Brend-er and Eddie.
I believe the Bengals deserved their proper seeding - per the rules of the League - before the Ravens game was played. Therefore, I was neither surprised nor dismayed by the fact that they demonstrated their displeasure at the coin-flip decision. And I don't think it had a thing on earth to do with how gracious they were in support of Damar Hamlin.
I think they showed humanity and basic decency in separating the real life horror of what happened on the field Monday night from their more base interests as competitors. But that doesn't mean I should expect them to be happy about conceding the 2 seed to Buffalo.
The coin flip antic was harmless, and was not about Buffalo or Damar. I guess we agree to disagree on that one.