The Bengals: Who we Thought They Were

Current run isn't surprising

Courtesy of my pal Jets Joe, who snapped this at the Sunoco on Westbourne near Western Bowl.

I’d like to offer profound stuff this AM, things that would make you believe I own unique insight into the freight-train roll the Bengals are currently enjoying. But, you know, the best I can do is this:

This was a Top 5 team entering the year. A Super contender.

The only question I had was whether it would be good enough to overcome the inevitable bad luck it would face because face it, last year was one dreamy ride. There would be injuries because there always are. There wouldn’t be the Three Musketeers camaraderie, because human traits like ego and jealousy and money-lust would start to enter the team picture.

Essentially, what the ‘22 Men have shown in the past 11 weeks after 0-2 is they have bona fide depth across the board. They have been fortunate to avoid injuries at QB and O-line, but they’ve taken lumps everywhere else. And managed well.

The spirit that propelled them last year is, if anything, greater this year. Please, let’s not confuse the ‘22 Bucs with greatness — 6-8 in a dogmeat division, no more than 21 points in a game for 10 games now — but the whipping the Bengals laid on the home team Sunday was substantial. 34-0 to be precise, in 30 minutes and three seconds.

If you ever wanted to appreciate the importance of confidence, mojo, groovin’ on a Sunday afternoon, this was your test case. It looked as if the Bucs never thought they would win after the FG to end the 1st half. It looked as if the Bengals never thought they wouldn’t.

So?

The narrative has shifted, and it could shift again. But it’s gone quickly from an assumed wild card berth to an outside chance at a No. 1 seed. The Men will win the North. Anyone who doesn’t believe that hasn’t watched the Ravens for a month at least. Not good.

The Bengals own the tiebreaker with KC. They could do the same in 13 days, here against Buffalo.

Surprise? Not in the least. Last year might have been fortunate for the Bengals. It wasn’t a fluke. And this team is better than that one was, and has been since Day 1. It just needed to get its O-line glued. February beckons.

Without further ado. . .

TEN THINGS

1. The turning point in the game came at the expense of one of the most conscientious football players you’ll ever meet. Gio Bernard wasn’t ready for the direct snap on the punt early in the 3rd. If the Bucs thought they were in trouble at halftime, they knew it then.

2. That last Bengals possession of the 1st half suggested loudly that hurry-up, no-huddle can offer a cure for sluggishness. I’ve never talked to a QB who didn’t like to run it, because all QBs operate best in tempo and rhythm. That fast pace does that, especially for someone like Burrow, whose mind works as swiftly as his arm. “We've really been a good two-minute team,’’ Burrow allowed afterward. I wonder why that is.

3. Brady helped the Bengals win. Before this year, how often have we said that about the GOAT? Uh, never. Still. . .

4. It was a classless move for Eli Apple to shout, “The future is now, old man!" as he walked off the field. For the first 30 minutes the best view the Bengals corner had of Mike Evans and Chris Godwin was from behind. For the record, Brady is an all-timer. C’mon, man.

5. Apple’s diss came after Brady said during the week that the Bengals had a “fairly tough’’ defense. He was right about that. The D has played well. It has not played Hurts, Cousins, Allen, Tua for more than 20 minutes, and Herbert. The two Pro Bowl-caliber guys it has played — Lamar and Mahomes — have done well.

6. Not to suggest the D hasn’t been crucial to the wins. Reader, Pratt, Bell, Hubbard, to name a few, have been very good. Stats say they’re 15th in yards allowed, 20th against the pass, 8th v. the run and 10th in points allowed. “Fairly tough’’ sounds reasonable.

7. Five possessions, four turnovers and a botched fake punt. Meltdown has a new standard.

8. Burrow’s mind is what separates him. It’s what defines all the great ones, that ability — in those fractions of seconds awaiting the snap — to envision what everything’s going to look like. Montana begat Brady begat Burrow. From Sunday’s postgame:

9. "They were doubling Ja'Marr [Chase] and TB [Tyler Boyd] had a one-on-one so there were three guys over there but I knew two of them were going cover Ja'Marr. So I knew I had TB on a route that we liked, that we practiced."

10. Can we please lay off Tony Romo? It’s getting to be embarrassing. Romo doesn’t care if Cincinnati or anyone else wins or loses. His checks always cash. He was marveling at Brady in the 1st half because Brady merited marveling. If your team is good, you’re going to get the best analysts doing its games. Romo is very good, partly because he doesn’t pull punches. Let’s act like we’ve been there before. Because we have. Now, then. . .

THE SOCCER SUNDAY WAS VERY ENTERTAINING, even for those who continue to search for its “beauty.’’ You could not ignore the passion on the field and in the stands. Sports are best when their competitors are playing for something beyond money. When you’re playing for your entire nation, well. . .

Might we make a suggestion that goes against all the Sunday gushing?

A shootout is a bad way to settle a world championship. It’s like settling a Game 7 of the NBA Finals by playing a game of HORSE. I wrote that in 1994. Still true.

Is it unbearably exciting? It is. Does it condense soccer to its essence? Yes, mostly.

Howevuh. . .

You spend a couple hours playing the quintessential team game, then decide the outcome with 12 individuals. That’s wrong. Further, the championship of the Beautiful Game World comes down to whether the goalies choose correctly or not. A goalie gets no chance to display his athleticism if he guesses wrong.

It has to be sudden death. I don’t think anyone can argue that. Play the first 90 minutes, go directly to sudden death. That wouldn’t lack for drama, it would retain the team nature of the game. It wouldn’t put the game in the hands of individuals and educated guesses.

Employ that rule only for the biggest matches, if you like. But employ it.

NEGATIVE PKING NOTE O’ THE WEEK. . . Bengals playing as well as anyone. Bengals finish off Bucs with 34-0 run, 31 in the 2nd half. King’s contribution is to note that Joe Burrow is #4 in the MVP sweepstakes. One sentence. King devotes more words to the fact that Rachael Ray “won’t abandon Ukraine.’’

To be accurate, King does mention the Men in his mini-advance of next week’s games:

Bill Parcells always used to say the reason teams in NFC East did well in the playoffs in the eighties was that they were so battle-tested from playing each other and the Bears and Niners and Rams. This year’s NFL version of battle-tested is Cincinnati. Last seven games: at Tennessee, Kansas City, Cleveland (with Deshaun Watson), at Tampa Bay, at New England, Buffalo, Baltimore. Yikes. What possibly will the Bengals fear in in the post-season after that gauntlet of games?

MONEY TALKS. . . A quick look at the Bengals payroll particulars shows multiple VIPs still on their first contracts: Burrow, Chase, Higgins, Bates, Wilson, Pratt, Davis-Gaither. That bodes well for today. Tomorrow, with all that cash Burrow will command?

COVID BLUES. . . I don’t have it, I just feel like I do. I got shot #5 Saturday. The reward for that is to feel like crap for 48 hours. Same as I did when I actually had COVID. If you add up the crap days from the five shots, it’d be about week. . . the same amount of time I’d spend getting the damned virus in the first place.

I get the shot now mostly to keep protected the people I’m around. Not for me.

DOWNTOWN LOVELAND HAS PAY PARKING LOTS. When we first moved there in 1988, no one went downtown. No reason. Few stores, shabby buildings. Then came the bike trail, a couple restaurants, a store selling running shoes and then a store selling bikes, a craft brewery, a record store. . . you get the picture.

Loveland is an amazing little place now. But it does blow me away I have to pay for parking to visit it.

TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . Continuing Mobster Matt’s vibe, here’s my 2nd-favorite Mellencamp tune, behind only Cherry Bomb, which produced the memorable line, “we were young and we were improving.’’

This tune is from an under-heard album which I think is one of his best. A bare-bones ode to American roots music.