Take me out of the Bowl Game

And I don't like wasabi, either

As far as I can tell, most of UC’s 2022 football team will not be attending the Fenway Bowl on Saturday morning at 11. Excuse me, the Wasabi Fenway Bowl, generously title-sponsored by a plant grown along stream beds in Japan. College football hotbeds, in other words. From our friends at Wikipedia:

Japanese horseradish[4] is a plant of the family Brassicaceae, which also includes horseradish and mustard in other genera. The plant is native to Japan and the Russian Far East[1] including Sakhalin, also the Korean Peninsula. It grows naturally along stream beds in mountain river valleys in Japan.

For some reason, the Bearcats best two receivers, their top two tight ends, their all-conference cornerback, their erstwhile head coach, both former coordinators, their passing game guru and their strength and conditioning coach somehow avoided the lure and charm of playing a football game in a baseball stadium, in Massachusetts in December.

Good seats are still available. The Yankees aren’t in town. Neither is Xander Bogaerts.

Studies show that wasabi provides a powerful punch when it comes to protection against some bacteria. One study conducted at Chiba University’s Laboratory of Plant Cell Technology in Japan notes that using it on potatoes made them more disease-resistant. (Draxe.com, whatever that is.)

For the uninitiated, wasabi is that green goo-paste that accompanies sushi, mostly. It’s hot, unlike the Fenway Bowl, which needs a thousand pounds of wasabi just to approach tepid.

Remind me again why they play these games.

In the halcyon Rick Minter days, UC played two years in a row in the Motor City Bowl, RIP, in the Pontiac Silverdome, RIP, in front of “tickets-sold’’ crowds announced as 52,000. Judging from actual attendance, 90 percent of those folks were RIP, too.

The 2000 and 2001 games were on Dec. 27 and 29, respectively, meaning the Bearcats had to spend Christmas in Detroit, practicing. How fun.

They lost both times, which would have been devastating had they players not received Nintendo game systems as gifts for showing up. I don’t know what the players get for being in the Wasabi Fenway Bowl. Maybe free green goo-paste and a bowl of Doritos.

What happens when you eat a lot of wasabi? Well, beyond experiencing the burning sensation in your nose and mouth, you may develop some gastrointestinal issues as well. This is because wasabi and other spicy foods stimulate the liver and gallbladder, causing side effects like diarrhea and nausea. (Draxe.com)

Speaking of diarrhea and nausea, Rice (5-7) plays Southern Miss (6-6) in the Lending Tree Bowl Saturday at 5:45 pm.

There are 41 bowls this year, because to be bowl-eligible, all you have to do is have a driver’s license and know how to tie your shoes. Of the 82 teams engaged, 19 have non-winning records. In six of the 41 games, neither of the combatants will enter with more Ws than Ls.

Man, I cannot wait for Georgia Southern and Buffalo in the Camellia Bowl.

We’ve been told across the years that a bowl game is a “reward’’ for a season well done. That’s true this year, if you’re the Miami RedHawks and you’re playing in the Bahamas Bowl. But does anyone really believe UC’s players kicked off summer practice with the goal of playing in the Fenway Bowl?

“All those 5 AM lifting sessions, all the meetings, all the pain. All worth it,’’ one (made up) player told me. “We’re going to the Fenway Bowl, baby!’’

A bowl is also supposed to be a boon for the local economy. The chamber of commerce rolls out the red carpet and every Denny’s in town does big business. Maybe so. But having covered an Independence Bowl or two, I can tell you I’ve never been back to Shreveport, LA, and if I’m lucky, I’ll never go again.

Meantime, they’re partying in the streets of Boston, as they prepare for the spending hordes poised to descend upon Ye Olde Towne.

College bowl games are becoming irrelevant. Becoming? They have nine toes in the sod. Toe No. 10 is in the buffet line at the Duke’s Mayo Bowl, drowning that two-fisted ham and cheese sammy in delicious egg-and-oil condiment. The current playoff sucker-punched the best bowls; the expanded playoff won’t make things better.

By inventing more bowls, we’ve sapped the special-ness right out of the remaining charmers. Unless your team plays in Nassau and you can afford the trip, there is no magic in attending its bowl game. Birmingham, Boise, Frisco, TX: Why?

Now, then. . .

THE NFL IS SEEKING THE BEST WAY TO GOUGE FANS. . . From ProFootballTalk:

DirecTV has held the rights to the NFL Sunday Ticket package since its inception in 1994. After the next four Sundays, DirecTV will be out.

So who will be in? That’s still to be determined. But it apparently will be determined soon.

Commissioner Roger Goodell, during a press conference following the ownership meeting in Texas, said that he provided ownership with a “very brief” update.

“I would say it’s in a very critical point for us,” Goodell said. “We’ve had a lot of interest in this, and we continue to. Our decisions are not based on timelines. They’re based on it being the best outcome with the best party.”

All that said, does anyone still pay for Sunday Ticket? I’m not a tech wizard, but it’s not hard to pirate an out-of-market NFL game. I watch the Redskins, er, Commandos, er, Commanders whenever I like. I’m always surprised how easy it is, and how the ravenous greedmeisters on Park Avenue haven’t put a stop to it.

You?

SHORT BUT SWEET today, Mobsters. I need to surf the ‘Net now, to find that perfect, unique and special something for my wife for Christmas. If it’s available on Amazon, I’m good. Is that bad?

Soon enough, I’ll dedicate This Entire Space to the subject of Stuff. But not today.

TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . A true OG classic this AM, from a true OG group. I took the erstwhile Kid Down the Hall to Riverbend maybe a decade ago, to see these guys. Even I had outgrown them. But back in the day, they were The Scene as we liked to say at Winston Churchill HS in the dangerous ‘hood of Potomac, MD.