Phil C. and the Art of Being One of Us

He hasn't quite mastered it

The problem with Phil Castellini speaking to the public is, he probably shouldn’t.

It’s not that he makes up stuff. Phil’s not the George Santos of Major League Baseball. It’s that Phil lacks a certain savoire faire, which is French for not stepping in it. He speaks truths, mostly. It’s the way he speaks them that makes you wanna spank him with a fat wad of Benjamins.

At a luncheon Saturday with the Rosie Reds, Phil spoke of the challenges facing the baseball team. He said a couple things that made you say, “Oh, my.’’

Phil said the Reds are a non-profit organization. By that, I’ll assume he meant they budget to break even. His father has said that many times. You can take Bob at his word, or you could suggest he open his team’s books to an independent auditor and prove it.

Pete will be in the HOF before that happens.

“Is anybody here paid to not do their job?” was a question Phil posed to the Rosies, regarding the subject of guaranteed baseball contracts. Before you FedEx to Phil a stand-up mirror, consider his point. He amplified on it with a third-grade bar graph showing how money correlates to wins, and how half the teams are eliminated by Opening Day.

This isn’t true. Three-quarters of the teams are eliminated by Opening Day.

“An industry in crisis,’’ he called it. Again, not wrong, though locally you could argue that the crisis is that ownership doesn’t have enough money to compete. Or refuses to spend it. Either way, we’re going to the gunfight with a butter knife. That’s a crisis.

Phil seems to be suggesting it’s MLB’s fault the Reds stink. Again, not all wrong. Ball-o-nomics has eliminated the middle class from the National Passed Time. Fans are suggesting the Reds should have added free agents Johnny Cueto and Adam Duvall. Why? To win 5-6 more times? To go from 62-100 to 67-95?

Would you do that?

They added pitcher Luke Weaver instead. He’s a warmed-over leftover, but maybe Derek Johnson fixes him enough that the Club can deal him at the deadline for a prospect.

But we digress. It’s not Phil’s points that make you wanna hurl. It’s his tone, since Opening Day last year. Condescension has never sold a ticket. We Suck bar graphs don’t make folks pine for April.

Driving a Lamborghini while complaining about gas prices isn’t a good look. Metaphorically speaking. Our little Republic doesn’t do well with well-to-do folks who look down their noses at the less well-to-do.

Phil Castellini isn’t One Of Us.

In a small, relatively insular place like this, being One Of Us matters. Or at least offering up that illusion. Marge was One Of Us (God help Us.) Pete. Huggs. Go down the list of the most popular sports figures here. All were perceived as regular Joes, and we definitely mean Nuxhall.

Bob C. was on his way to exalted One Of Us status. The 2010 and ‘12 successes, a wild-card in ‘13, his native son-ness, his active participation and influence on making Cincinnati a better place. Enhancing the “ballpark experience.’’ The Big Man’s stature was on the rise.

Then erratic and inconsistent philosophy, the COVID-caused financial disaster of 2020 and his subsequent decision to put his partners’ wallets over the team’s competitive needs turned the tide the other way. Phil’s remarks only hastened the 180.

Yes, Ball-o-nomics has helped straitjacket teams such as the Reds. And no, gutting the team with an all-in rebuild won’t guarantee success, at least not on the field. The Reds have been rebuilding in various stages of In for a decade.

But there are ways to ask for patience, and there are ways to come off as an entitled heir. Especially when you’re trying to move product. It’s all but guaranteed the Reds will be bad in ‘23. The hope is, they unload the ballast of the Votto and Moustakas deals next winter and the payroll rises, along with the fortunes of Greene, Lodolo, Ashcraft, De La Cruz et cetera.

Meantime, it’d be wise for Phil to take a vacation from speaking to the faithful. Or maybe it’s too late. Regardless, the masses aren’t pleased.