Pacman Rules The Jungle?

No matter how you look at it, life is never black or white, but always gray

The Bengals have named Pacman Jones as this week’s Ruler of the Jungle and in all honesty, I don’t know what to say about that, except this:

Life is gray. Rarely black, rarely white, almost always somewhere in the messy in-between. Jones is a living, breathing paradox, a man with a super-sized heart who’ has also been a TMZ superstar for all the wrong reasons.

The man who once said to a Cincinnati cop “I hope you die tomorrow’’ is also the man who adopted Chris Henry’s three children. Put that through your book of judgments and try to make a fair ruling.

On the one hand. . .

Adam Jones has no business being the ruler of anything, let alone a symbol of a football team’s “high standards and energy we expect to see on the field, in the stands and in all areas of our organization.’’ That was Elizabeth Blackburn, the Bengals director of strategy and engagement, in July 2021, announcing the team’s Rule The Jungle campaign.

On the other hand. . .

Jones should be recognized for the positive impact he has made on the children of his late teammate and best friend.

Both views are legit.

This is right: How could the Bengals possibly honor a man whose adult life has been littered with run-ins with the law? As recently as last November, a judge sentenced Jones to 30 days in jail after Pacman pleaded no contest to beating a man unconscious. You’re going to honor that guy? Give legitimacy to that behavior?

What might the city cops working at the stadium Sunday think of Adam Jones being applauded while wearing a crown on his head? What exactly are we honoring here?

This is right: “For me, it’s heartwarming,’’ Jones told Shannon Sharpe on Sharpe’s TV show a year ago, “because I know my man is up there smiling and saying, ‘I really appreciate you’.’’ We talk all the time about Making a Difference. Jones is making a difference.

So. . . which side of the gray are you on?

Jones was a favorite of Mike Brown’s. The Bengals president forever has owned a soft spot for miscreant players he’s seen as redeemable. Brown even called himself that once, during the years when the Bengals led the league in bad actors. Redeemer.

Brown felt the same about Chris Henry, who died at 26 after falling off a moving truck. Brown saw the humanity in these guys and supported them. Good for him? Or, keep the social work out of the football business?

Gray.

There is also this: For eight years, Pacman Jones was a very good player for the Bengals, as a corner and punt returner. A Pro Bowler and an All Pro in 2014. He was fearless. His attitude set a much-needed edge that proved useful. With Jones around — and later, Vontaze Burfict — the Bengals stopped being Pittsburgh’s doormat.

How much should that matter in this situation?

You could suggest the Bengals had about a million other choices for the Ruler honor. You could lament the fact that Jones follows Devon and Leah Still, truly courageous people, impossibly heroic and worthy of the honor, no asterisk required.

Or you could just sigh and say, so what? It’s just a tiny moment in time, nothing more than a marketing strategy.

Offensive? Or redemptive? Which side of the gray are you on?

Now, then. . .

WHY BASEBALL IS GREAT. Cristian Javier could not have been better. The team that was blitzkrieg-ing the vaunted Astros with power worthy of the Bronx, 1927 suddenly finished nine innings without a hit.

(Name the last postseason no-hitter, win fab prizes.)

And tonight, likely AL Cy Young winner Justin Verlander looks to put Houston one win from a title.

And no one would be surprised if the Phillies smash him again, same as in Game 1.

For a Series without much drama — three of the first four games have not been close — this has been a dramatic Series. The energy in Citizens Bank Park could light up a medium-sized city. Bryce Harper is being fitted for the superhero suit he can wear only if his team wins.

Dusty, seeking a place in the HOF that he’ll get if the Astros give it to him.

Games that end at what passes for reasonable hour. I’m OK with 11:30. You?

Houston would seem to have an edge now, in the ultimate best-of-3. The ‘Stros have Verlander tonight and Framber Valdez in the wings. Philly is opting not to start Zack Wheeler on normal rest tonight. Noah Syndergaard goes instead. Wheeler has not been great for a couple months, including his start in Game 2.

Beyond Ranger Suarez, very good in Game 5, what do the Phils do in Game 6 or 7?

BECAUSE TV IS MY LIFE. . . After one episode of Inside Man, a Netflix four-part miniseries, I don’t know if it’s very good or very ridiculous. Good writing, good Stanley Tucci. . . story that bounces around the room like a Superball with a motor.

Generally, I avoid shows that ask me to think too much. That’s why I loved Bosch. Straight-ahead detective stuff, good stories simply told. Tastes great, less filling.

So far, Inside Man has my eyeballs spinning.

Meantime, the fourth season of The Sinner is good, but Bill Pullman’s lead character moves like sand through a 20-year hourglass. Either he’s always thinking or too many drugs in college unwired his brain. Good story, but Pullman is getting on my nerves. Wake up, big guy.

Finished The Patient, which started well but was ultimately unsatisfactory. Looking forward to the return of Dead To Me and very much looking forward to the re-launch of Yellowstone, which features Kevin Costner (who I’d watch if he were reading recipes) and the best character currently on TV, Beth Dutton, Costner’s thoroughly badass daughter on the show.

PROGRAMMING NOTE… The Fun-espondents Michelle and Dave will be here tomorrow to inform your weekend soda and entertainment decisions. Please give them your love and support.

TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . I dug way deep in the vinyl pile for this one. Not a great tune, but OK and one you might not remember.