Follow the Bouncing Bengals
10 things from a non-competitive thrashing that offered few answers
One year many moons ago, I wrote a column volunteering to rake the leaves in your yard. We were in the throes of another dismal football fall, the Lost Decade@ in full effect. The solution to bad Bengals football was to look away. Doing something productive for my fellow man would be icing on the cake. So I welcomed folks to tell me why I should clean up their yards during a Bengals home game, the only condition being they couldn’t have the game on while I was raking.
I ended up in Hyde Park, cleaning the yard of a woman who made candles for Cracker Barrel. It was delightful.
This occurs now in the wake of 42-21. On Sunday I pictured half a million Charlotte-eans bolting for their leaf blowers after the 1st quarter. The cliche, often repeated, always wrong, is, “It’s hard to win in this league.’’
No, it’s not.
First, 16 teams do it every week. That’s half the corporations in the league. Shouldn’t it be just as hard to lose?
Second, did you watch the game yesterday?
Act Nine of the Bengals season seemed an exorcism of sorts, a day for venting rage. (See: Mixon, Joe.) It could have been any opponent. It just happened to be the Panthers, as bad an NFL team as currently exists. Carolina couldn’t block, tackle, run, pass or catch. That said, the Panthers did a solid job of showing up to the stadium on time.
By halftime, it was 35-0. I was having Lost Decade@ flashbacks so acute, I worried I might have to check myself into the ER at Bethesda North. So. . . I stopped watching and blew all the leaves outta my back yard. Just like old times, only in reverse.
Without further ado. . .
TEN THINGS.
Mixon needed this game, and the Bengals need Mixon. He’s had a weird year all the way around. Some weeks, he has run the way he did Sunday. More weeks, he has run as if on nails. I know RBs are like anyone else. Flow is important, finding a groove, call it what you like. If you’re not touching the ball much, it’s hard to be groovin’ on a Sunday afternoon. They gave him the ball, he produced right away, so they kept giving it to him. Five TDs is a month of good work. What does it mean for the rest of the year? I have absolutely no idea.
One week, they’re down 0-25, the next they’re up 35-0. You tell me what’s going to happen next. We here at TML Central say this over and over: One week has no bearing on the next. Every week is a one-act, stand-alone event. That said, I feel certain The Men will beat Bye this coming Sunday.
In the first half, Carolina became the only NFL team in about a century to run Navy’s offense. The Bengals have played a chorus line of lousy QBs this fall. PJ Walker, bless him, is at the head of the can-can class. As a QB, Baker Mayfield makes great commercials. But who in the world believed Walker was an upgrade over Mayfield?
The game had that awesome football-in-July vibe, yeah? How bad was Carolina? On Monday morning, the Panthers fired two assistant defensive coaches.
The TV guys kept harping on the sack thing regarding the Bengals O-line. One, no kidding and (2), the line has done a better job in recent weeks. Much better. So cool it on that overwrought theme, K?
That said, Jonah Williams got absolutely worked on a bull rush by Carolina’s Brian Burns on a pass play in the final minute of the first half. He has now allowed nine sacks. Left tackles are supposed to be better than that. To be fair, Williams was part of a line that helped Mixon run wild. And the Bengals did average almost 7 yards a carry.
It could be just me, but I’m ready for a ban on stadium announcers telling me what down it is — 3rd, doncha know — whenever the other guys have the ball. At this point, screaming IT’STHIRDDOWN!!!! isn’t fun. It’s overworked, unoriginal, lame and annoying. It’s worse than Seven Nation Army by about six nations. Just stop.
If nothing else, the W was important to remind the Bengals they’re capable of playing this way. Even if it did come against the Canton Bulldogs.
TJ Watt, game wrecker deluxe, will play against the Bengals in Pittsburgh two Sundays from now. But, you know, so will Kenny Pickett.
After Pickett, it’s Tannehill, Mahomes, Watson, Brady, Allen and Jackson. And we will start learning things.
Now, then. . .
DBELL ON DBAKER. . . I wrote the ode to Dusty in This Space yesterday. If you missed it, go back and ckitout. Meantime, I called David Bell Sunday morning. Bell played for Baker. He was a member of the ‘02 Giants club that blew the World Series that started the heartbreak that Dusty vanquished Saturday night. Bell nearly ran down then-3-year-old Darren Baker at the plate in Game 6. Remember? Anyway, David’s unedited thoughts:
“I’m incredibly happy for Dusty. He’s so good at what he does.
“He just has such a natural gift in his ability to connect with players. He knew naturally what it took to build relationships. Don’t get me wrong, he worked hard at it. But he also had an innate feel.
“He knows what buttons to push, what to say. I got to the point in ‘02 when I was really struggling pretty early in the year. He took me into the cage and hit with me for two hours. Some of the stuff he said, the drills he had me do, were exactly what I needed. That saved my career.
“You just always knew that Dusty cared for you. He’s tough, he demands a lot. You don’t get away with anything. But he’s in it with you. He knows what makes guys tick. That’s a key for all of us.’’
Bell marveled at how a 73-year-old manager could remain so in tune with the new generation of players. “To be able to apply who he is to the modern game,’’ Bell said. “Dusty’s always relevant.’’
The universal truth is that, managers are called “managers’’ for a reason. They manage people. Numbers come second. The best managers understand that.
THE SMITHEREENS BLEW ME AWAY. To smithereens, you might say. A buddy of mine in town for a few weeks asked me if I wanted to see them. I’d heard of the Smithereens, but had only a vague notion of their sound. (Guitar-driven pop, as it turned out.) But their new frontman was Marshall Crenshaw, a guy I like, and the venue was Ludlow Garage, a place I’d wanted to see a show for a very long time. I have the Allman Brothers 1970 album, Live At Ludlow Garage. TML sez ckitout.
The evening was perfect. The venue seats maybe 200, looks like a movie theatre. These are the best places to see a show, intimate and far superior to a stadium, amphitheatre or a large hall such as the Taft.
The Smithereens are of a Certain Age. They played free of self-indulgence. No ego-tripping onstage, just two-plus hours of irresistibly hook-loaded rock produced by four guys who seemed to genuinely enjoy making music together and were grateful still to be making it.
Big thanks to my boy Joe Rhodes for thinking of me.
AS ALWAYS, if you’re liking what you’re reading, please SHARE and spread the gospel of TML 2.0. Thanks.
TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . The Smithereens rocked this one out Friday night.
Your football humor schtick is 2nd to none. You had me laughIng out loud. Thanks for that.
Your great respect for Dusty is spot on and much appreciated. Thanks for sharing David Bell’s comments!
Great Seven Nation Army line, Doc. I still like the song but, as I was flipping through channels the other night, I heard what no one should have to hear; the organist at Citizens Bank Park playing it.