Does Football Make You Happy?

No? Then what does?

Anna Quindlen is one of my favorite writers.

Who, Doc?

She’s a former columnist at the New York Times, author of many books, some of them bestsellers. Common sense brain, Irish heart. What’s not to love?

I’ve read most everything Quindlen’s written, partly because good writing is achieved through reading good writing. And, yup, occasionally borrowing some of it. I read books for style, not content. The most informative book ever written means little to me if I don’t like the way the author makes his or her words move.

A Short Guide to a Happy Life is Quindlen’s effort at answering the most existential of questions: What is happiness?

I’ve read the slim tome a million times. It’s essentially a commencement address Quindlen gave many years ago. It has never lost its relevancy.

Lately, there has been lots of stuff written about The State of Happiness in America, maybe because lots of us seem so unhappy, so decidedly angry and lacking gratitude for how damned good we have it. Or maybe because, unlike our forebears, we have more free time to spend navel-gazing.

My parents didn’t contemplate personal happiness. They were too busy keeping three kids happy, or at least functional.

I’ve told my kids that happiness is their responsibility. It has to be earned and once earned, it has to be worked on constantly. I’ve told my son he’ll be happiest when he happens to life, not vice versa. Be in control of your life.

Small stuff makes me happy. When my dog takes me for a walk in the woods, I’m happy. Sports on TV on the back porch in summertime, feet up, moon out, world quiet, makes me happy.

Baseball makes me happy. Football, not so much. Football is three hours of barely controlled rage. Nothin’ happy about that. When I watch football, I’m anything but relaxed. When I watch or listen to baseball, my mind’s in a hot tub. Golf makes me happy, until it doesn’t. If you commit golf, you know what I’m talking about.

Relationships abet happiness. Family time matters more as I age and my world begins to constrict and life’s truths become plain. A good conversation makes me happy. We need our humanity to be shared, if we want to be happy. I’ve read that so often, it must be true. Charity, empathy, kindness. A beer and a cigar with a dear friend. “Social fitness,’’ one author called it. Happiness.

But what do I know? Better to yield to Anna Quindlen, who boiled happiness down to its essence. Here it is:

• “Show up. Listen. Try to laugh.”

• “You cannot be really good at your work if your work is all you are.”

• “Get a life, a real life. Not a manic pursuit of the next promotion.”

• “Turn off your cell phone. Keep still. Be present.”

• “Get a life in which you are generous.”

• “All of us want to do well, but if we do not do good too then doing well will never be enough.”

Yeah?

So. . . what makes youse happy? Do you even pause to ponder the question? I didn’t, for many, many years. Life. . . just. . . was. Mostly good, occasionally a pain in the ass. As complicated as I chose to make it, and I never deliberately chose to make it complicated.

In some, indistinct way, I just assumed life would be good. Most of the time, I was right.

Your takes, Mobsters.

Now, then. . .

I’M SERIOUS when I say I’m truly grateful for the high level of intelligence and civility youse offer in This Space. Yesterday’s virtual barroom dialogue was a great example. The topic was the NFLPA’s report card grading how organizations treated their players. Your words sparked more of mine. A few additional observations:

(1) Most of what the Bengals players had issues with was minor, easily fixable at little expense to the club or Hamilton County. The employees weren’t asking to live at the Ritz.

Outlets for phones and stuff.

A cafeteria open on off days, when players are encouraged to come into the facility.

Dinner.

Bigger hot and cold tubs.

Vitamins and nutritional supplements.

Functional plumbing.

Those are basic asks that could be made by any mid-level drone working at P&G. Not by people working for the biggest sporting business in the world.

(2) PayJoe Stadium is 23 years old. Routine upgrades and maintenance should be done as a matter of course regardless who’s paying. Remember what a dump Riverfront was, years before it was blown up?

(3) This nickel-and-dime stuff sounds dangerously like the Bengals of old. Mom-n-pop thinking has never served the Men well. The Bengals organization should be beyond that now.

The team practiced on Thanksgiving Day. The gustatory reward for working on that beloved holiday? Grilled cheese sandwiches. I’m not joking. John Smith ate better in 1621.

Do better, Bengals. Not because someone makes you. Because it’s the right thing to do. And players will notice.

SO FAR, MLB IS HITTING HOME RUNS with the new rules. Yahoo:

The data through one week of play indicates MLB is heading toward the fastest pace it has seen in decades.

Two hours and 37 minutes. That's how long the average nine-inning game between MLB teams in spring training has lasted this year with the pitch clock through 94 games. If MLB games averaged two hours and 37 minutes, it would be the quickest pace of play since 1979.

That pace of play is 29 minutes shorter than last year's average game time three hours and six minutes.

Bigger bases equals more stolen bags. The Reds stole 14 bases in 14 attempts in their first five games.

Keep it going, MLB. There might be hope for you yet.

THEY CALL ME JOHNNY OPTIMISTIC. . . There is reason to believe the Reds will hit better than we expect. The bar is very low, for one. But you also have to think a healthy India will be better than last summer. Stephenson is their best hitter and maybe he won’t miss half the season. Wil Myers will benefit from playing in a hitter’s park the first time in his career.

India-Myers-Stephenson at the top of the order has a chance to give Lodolo-Greene-Ashcraft a puncher’s chance.

AND NOW. . .

Hey Michelle will make this the best weekend of your entire life. . .

Bockfest~ The 31st annual Sonder Brewing Bockfest is here! It kicks off with the parade on Friday at 6:00 starting at Arnold’s Bar & Grill working their way to Bockfest Hall for the blessing of the bock beer. This parade is like no other with everything from monks to a Sausage Queen.. You have to see it to believe it :) 

EDITOR’S NOTE. . . The parade has been canceled due to miserable weather.

Saturday festivities start with a 5K at 10a.m. from Bockfest Hall. Then from 10- 11p.m. join in at the Findlay Playground for historic beer tours, Beer games, food and drink. Then to end the weekend of Bock fun you can join in some goat yoga at 10a.m. at Bockfest Hall more brewery tours, beer games and live music. You don’t want to miss this. 

 Eat, Play, Give Brunch ~ Sunday 11-2  This is to bring awareness and fight to eliminate SIDS. The de Cavel (our beloved chef Jean Robert)  family has hosted this culinary feast at the Midwest Culinary Institute with over 30 local restaurants since 2002. Grab tickets now 

Vintage Car Collection in Erlanger ~ This is going on weekly on Friday & Saturday from 10-3 until April 1st. This is a one of a kind private antique car & truck collection displaying over 220 vintage vehicles. 

Cincinnati Home & Garden Show ~ Check out the latest and greatest for your home remodel, decorating or learn how to get your garden ready for the season. Duke Energy Convention Center Friday 11-8, Saturday 10-6 and Sunday 10-6.

Fish Sandwich Friday ~ My lenten recommendation for today is the huge and delicious fish sammy from Milkman in OTR. If you’ve enjoyed this cute diner and had their burgers and boozy shakes you should try the beer battered cod (using Rhinegeist Cheetah Beer), American cheese, homemade tartar sauce.. Yum 

Hey Michelle,

Do you want to know where to eat, drink and have fun in Cincinnati? Follow me @HeyMichelle1 on IG 
https://heymichelle-help.com

TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . Today’s assignment is, Give me one album that has zero forgettable tunes on it. I’m going with Eagles. . . Desperado. It rocks (Outlaw Man), it soothes (Tequila Sunrise) it ties it all in a nice, finishing bow (Doolin’ Dalton/Desperado).

Seamless, IMO. The critics did not agree.