Dear Reds: Go Big or Go Home

The proverbial window of opportunity awaits

FreeForAll Tuesday includes a plea to the Reds, a sigh for Sports Illustrated, some pointed Zac questions and a shopping question for everyone. (A paid subscription to TML sounds like a worthy gift to me.) Enjoy.

It’s never too early to start ripping the Reds for deals they don’t make and/or money they don’t spend on free agents. Yeah?

The winter meetings are next week. The Reds’ needs are obvious. They’re the same needs they had at last summer’s deadline, when they did next to nothing, opting instead to hoard prospects who ain’t done nothin’ either.

Apparently, Bob Castellini has made it known to player agents that his team’s wallet is open for business. How open is anybody’s guess. There is no scarcity of veteran starting pitching, either. It would seem a fine time to spend that Votto money, and to take full advantage of a roster of cheap, cost-controlled players.

We’re all ready to bring that championship baseball back to Cincinnati, aren’t we?

The Cardinals didn’t wait to make last summer’s nightmare go away. They’ve added Sonny Gray, Lance Lynn and Kyle Gibson. Lynn and Gibson are OGs of questionable value, but at the very least should give Looie innings. Gray finished 2nd in the AL Cy voting, but was a pedestrian 8-8 on a playoff team and as recently as 2022 was on the IL three times.

(You statboys can tell me wins aren’t important. As in most matters SABR-metrical, I will disagree. Winning games is all that matters. Pitching deep in games gives you a better chance to win them. The Twins were 14-18 in Gray’s 32 starts. Gray had a career year in Minnesota, but his baseball card has him as a 130-inning pitcher with a mid-3 ERA and lots of no decisions.)

Bieber a Red?

Who fits here?

Unrealistic: Yoshinobu Yamamoto, Blake Snell, Jordan Montgomery. Tyler Glasnow, too, unless you think the Club is excited about paying a perpetually sore-armed pitcher $25 mil next year.

Unlikely: Corbin Burnes. Under contract, Milwaukee wouldn’t deal him to a Central team.

Uninspiring: Michael Wacha, Jack Flaherty.

Somewhat less uninspiring: Marcus Stroman, another $25-mil guy of questionable worth.

That still leaves a few very good options, if you’re willing to part with blessed prospects: Eduardo Rodriguez, Dylan Cease, Shane Bieber and the ultimate prize, Logan Gilbert. Hear me out here.

MLB.com calls the Seattle righty “A quality, affordable starter, one who has taken every single start since his 2021 promotion (88 in under three full seasons), who can’t be a free agent until after 2027 is 27 years old, estimated $4.9 million in arbitration (four years before FA).

Gilbert was 13-7 last year, in 190 innings, with 189 Ks. In ‘22, he was 13-6 in 185 innings. Three years, no missed starts. Track record.

The Mariners have good, young starting pitching, even without Gilbert. Luis Castillo, George Kirby, Bryce Miller, Bryan Woo. What they don’t have is a big lineup after Julio Rodriguez.

Yeah, the price tag for Gilbert would be ridiculous. About as ridiculous as a team on the cusp not making a run at him. Do you want to win, or don’t you?

If you add Gilbert, you still have enough cash to get another starting pitcher.

This is pie-sky stuff. It’s highly unlikely the Reds would be so bold. They need an outfielder, too, maybe more than one. And oh, the prospects they’d have to relinquish.

You know what else is unlikely? The Reds bringing championship baseball back while sitting on their gold-pile of unproven players. It just requires too much hopeful assuming.

We don’t know much about Elly De La Cruz. Or Nick Lodolo for that matter. One’s a comet, one can’t stay healthy. How long before Hunter Greene “learns how to pitch?’’ Spencer Steer and Matt McLain were terrific rookies last year. This year? Can’t assume it.

These guys had breakout seasons and the Reds still went 82-80.

The winter meetings are next week. Time for the Reds to play.

Now, then. . .

MAYBE WE SHOULD PAY THEM WITH ARTIFICIAL MONEY. Of all the sad stories about traditional media extinction, Sports Illustrated’s was the saddest. For much of my life, SI was the home office of sportswriting giants. When the mag didn’t employ its own people, it summoned from the bench literary superstars such as John Updike and William Faulkner.

Curry Kirkpatrick

When I was in high school and college, I wanted nothing more than to be Curry Kirkpatrick. Now, a website I’ve never heard of, Futurism, is claiming SI uses AI to produce magazine content, without identifying as fake the fake people writing it:

There was nothing in Drew Ortiz's author biography at Sports Illustrated to suggest that he was anything other than human.

"Drew has spent much of his life outdoors, and is excited to guide you through his never-ending list of the best products to keep you from falling to the perils of nature," it read. "Nowadays, there is rarely a weekend that goes by where Drew isn't out camping, hiking, or just back on his parents' farm."

The only problem? Outside of Sports Illustrated, Drew Ortiz doesn't seem to exist. He has no social media presence and no publishing history.

Plus, “Ortiz’’ writes sentences such as this:

Volleyball "can be a little tricky to get into, especially without an actual ball to practice with."

SI’s owner, something called The Arena Group, denied the allegation, sort of. Its explanation to Futurism:

(We) licensed content from an external, third-party company, AdVon Commerce. A number of AdVon's e-commerce articles ran on certain Arena websites. AdVon has assured us that all of the articles in question were written and edited by humans.

OK, but when Futurism published its piece, all those humans magically vanished from SI’s pages.

This is one of the very few areas in my life in which I’m glad I’m old. I don’t have to worry about being replaced by MobsterTron.

We rely on social media for our “facts,’’ we can’t tell the difference between humans and robots when we’re reading national publications. What’s worse, we don’t seem to mind, especially when what we’re consuming is in line with what we believe and consider factual.

Hi, my name is Drew Ortiz. I’ve spent much of my life outdoors, in a cave actually. I love New York in June, my mother and a 12-pack of Keystone Light. Check out my work right here, every day, only on TML 2.0. . .

RANDOM OBSERVATION, I.E. CHEAP PLOY TO ENGAGE CONVERSATION. If the Bengals do not show up Monday night in Jacksonville ready to play with conviction and purpose, it will light a match to Zac Taylor’s Winning Culture.

Bengals

And, given that the coach’s best attribute is his ability to create such a culture, what happens when it shows signs of cracking? What if Zac’s Culture Club is merely a byproduct of Saint Joe’s talent?

I’ll acknowledge that’s a hasty question, and not entirely fair. If his team had made one more play two years ago, Taylor has a ring today, and is bullet-proof. But as we llke to say in This Space, it’s the NFL, man.

The Bengals L last week showed a surprising lack of Want-To. We praised Taylor for his culture-building. We can question its legitimacy now, without Burrow.

As they say in Pittsburgh, sort of, the culture is the culture. Or is it?

TIME TO START SEEKING STUFF. . . Christmas shopping is easier than ever, at least on the mechanical side. Go to the online bazaar and limber your typing fingers. What gets hard with every passing year is. . .

What the hell do I buy her now?

The spirit is willing. The ideas are weak. At a Certain Age, if we’re lucky, nobody needs anything but good health and a happy family. Also at that Age, most of us have very few Wants. I mean, if you’re 65, you’re fairly set in the Stuff Category. You’re looking to de-Stuff.

So, question to youse Mobsters:

What are your favorite catalogs/websites for finding gifts?

I usually head to New York magazine’s Christmas issue, where they have all kinds of good Stuff, weird and practical, then steal a few of those ideas and spin off to other sites with similar Stuff. Anything to spark the imagination.

Gimme your shopping tips, boys and girls.

TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . Some love for two guys who don’t like each other very much these days. I remember seeing them a few years back. They played two hours without even looking at each other. Regardless, they made the best blue-eyed soul ever. Including this one.