Bronson Arroyo and the Nature of Cool
The newest Reds HOFer defines a dying breed
SOMETIMES, GOOD THINGS HAPPEN to good people. We’re talking at you, Bronson Arroyo. Arroyo was the regular-est dude I covered in 34 years here. He has been elected to the Reds HOF. Fantastic.
I don’t know what impressed me more about Arroyo, the fact that he pitched 200-plus innings seven times in nine seasons as a Red (and went 199 innings in one of the other two years) or that he did it with about as many arm issues as the pitching coach.
Arroyo was a strong guy. You wouldn’t have known that by looking at him, but he’d been working out, under his dad’s supervision, since he was in grade school. His strength was tensile.
What, Doc?
Less like the strength owned by an offensive lineman. More like braided rope. That kept his arm supple and strong. In a burgeoning era of speed fascination and radar-gun worship, Arroyo’s best fastball rarely topped 89 mph. He was never a thrower, always a pitcher. That’s part of how he was able to pitch 202 innings at age 36. It was also how he could succeed throwing stuff you wouldn’t feed your dog.
But that’s not really what I want to talk about this AM. This is:
Bronson Arroyo was cool.
Never in an ostentatious, entitled way. The coolest people know they’re cool. They don’t care if you know it. In sports, “cool’’ is under assault. It has taken a back seat to narcissism. It has spawned a couple generations of entitled performers, too many of whom believe their athletic gifts allow them to act however they please. That’s not cool.
Arroyo helped the clubbies at GABP, cleaning mud from spikes after games. That’s cool.
Been-There-Before is cool. Eleven defensive players running to the end zone to celebrate an interception? You tell me: Cool? Or silly?
Joe Burrow walks the ledge of Cool. The Notice Me outfits he wears to games are cool. But maybe not every week. Worn every week, they stray dangerously close to Look At Me. Which isn’t cool. People don’t need to be told to look at Joe Cool.
What was especially cool about Bronson Arroyo was his ability to be engaging with everyone, but maintain his distance. He was open, yet seemingly very private. A bit of a loner, yet comfortable in a crowd. That’s hard to do/be when your career is spent dancing in the footlights.
The coolest jock I’ve dealt with here was Eric Davis. Cool is a state of mind. It requires no explanation. That was Davis. An air, an aura, call it what you like.
When the Reds trained in Sarasota, Bronson Arroyo lived on his boat at least one spring training. He made a record. He could talk for hours about Eddie Vedder and Pearl Jam. In the spring of 2017, when Arroyo was 40 and in his last season in the game, I asked him what he had planned for retirement.
Paraphrasing, he said, “I’m going to hit the road, drive out West and spend some time with friends.’’ He did that. His band played gigs all over, Bronson on lead guitar (Fender Telecaster), he caught up with Vedder, he did a weekend turn in the Reds broadcasting booth where, God love him, never referred to the current club as “we.’’
Arroyo was one of those guys who made me happy with my career choice every time I saw him. He was undeniably, inalterably cool.
Now, then. . .
WHO YOU THINK IS COOL? Do you define it as I do, or am I (as usual) being overly OG about it. Lemme know.
I think Dwayne Johnson is cool. I never thought Don “Miami Vice’’ Johnson was. Liz Cheney, absolutely cool. George Clooney, nope.
I’VE WONDERED SINCE WOODY ROAMED THE SOD IN C-BUS. . . If you are an OSU fan, do you ever wish for a year when your Heroes had a schedule of competitive games?
I say this as an admittedly lukewarm fan of college football, as someone who believes that without bands, cheerleaders, painted kids drinking to excess and ESPN Game Day, college football would be five minutes of thrills packed into three and a half hours of game.
Not the big games, obviously. OSU-Michigan is still better than most anything the NF of L produces. I’m talking about 90 percent of the other jousts. They are over inside of a quarter, maybe a half. I mean, when your boys are up 30-0 at halftime, what do you do the rest of the game, Buck Nut?
Yahoo Sports:
Ohio State has won its four league games by an average of 35.6 points and hasn’t trailed after the middle of the first quarter. Michigan is winning by an average of 16.2 points and fell behind in the second half just once (briefly) en route to a 41-17 beat down of Penn State.
Not even the non-conference games did much. The Buckeyes beat Notre Dame in a hyped opening night, but that victory has faded as the Irish have stumbled. Michigan backed out of a game against UCLA that could have been fun and fattened up on Colorado State, Hawaii and Connecticut to the cumulative score of 166-17.
Wings off flies, yeah?
Nothing personal. The Erstwhile Kid Down the Hall graduated from OSU, got a great and affordable education. It’s about the mega-gap in talent between the top 1-percenters and everyone else. When I read The Old Man and the Sea, I’d rather not know on Page 5 that Santiago’s great fish gets eaten by sharks before he gets it to the dock.
The Buckeyes play at Penn State this week. They’re favored by 15.5. This is what passes for a close game in college football. If the NFL operated that way, we’d all be watching soccer. Or college football.
So tell me what it is about the boola-boola that keeps you coming back, TOSU worshipper. Not the accessories, the product itself.
I HOPE YOUSE SLEPT WELL last night, in preparation for tonight’s incredible matchup on Thursday Night Football. Nothing says football rapture like Grandpa Brady and Lamar v. World.
If watching train wrecks is your thing, take your eyes off the tracks tonight and ckout Tom Brady make bad throws and yell at people half his age. Watch Lamar Jackson go 1-on-11, because everybody else on his offense is in varying stages of wreckage, mainly because playing a football game four days after playing a football game is decidedly not good for the health of those taking part. To approximate the Thursday experience from the players’ view, drive your car into a building at 30 miles-an-hour. Then do it again.
Isn’t it time to end this farce? Thursday pro football is such a completely greedy enterprise, Gordon Gecko oughta be its commissioner. (Lookimup, kids.) Seriously, is there anything special, ever, about a midweek NFL game, except the money it generates?
(Please don’t tell me, “I got Lamar on my fantasy team.’’ Save your delirium for Sunday. You’re a grownup.)
Again: If the league were as concerned about health as it is about money, we wouldn’t be talking about this.
PROGRAMMING NOTE. . . I’d planned to spend several hundred words navel-gazing in This Space today. I’m having existential issues. They revolve around whether to sell our cabin in the woods of Adams County. Which seems a bit of a give-up to me. A life/age-imposed capitulation that pisses me off. I will get to that, possibly later today. Please check back. For now, I didn’t want to stuff 500 more words into my 1,000-word bag. Lunch time is only so long, yeah?
AND NOW. . . I know I said we’d be offering up the Fun-Espondents on Fridays now, and sometimes we will. This week, Imbiber Dave and Hey Michelle! inform your weekend today, giving you a running start on all that fun. So. . .
Michelle gives you your fun lesson o’ the week. . .
Fall Fun ~ Grab the fam and hit up Blooms & Berries Farm Market.. Hayrides, Corn Mazes, Petting Farm, Bee Train, Beer Garden and so much more. Ticketed event purchase online. 9669 S. St. Rt. 48 Loveland.
Darkside of Brewing Tour ~ Tales of Cincy’s haunted & gruesome past Friday 6-7:30 at the Brewing Heritage Trail.1939 Race St. grab tickets for this spooky walking tour now and get into the Halloween spirit.Â
Halloween Bar Crawl ~ Saturday 4-12pm join in on the 5th annual costume crawl starting at Bloom 1120 Walnut St. Ticketed event includes costume contest, 2 drinks, drink specials, food specials, photos, after party and more.Â
The Tina Turner experience ~ Showing at the Aronoff now through Nov. 6.
Cyclones are back~ Saturday at Heritage Bank face off against Iowa is 7:30. $2 hotdogs, soda & beer!
Final Friday at the Pendleton Art Center~ 5-9 The center is open to the public every last Friday for people to come view and buy art directly from the artists. This is always a fun way to start the night.Â
Renaissance Festival comes to an end ~ The last day is Sunday to enjoy the 33rd year of this fun event. Come dressed in theme and enjoy food, drink, unique shopping, over 100 shows daily from swordsmen to fire jugglers. Grab your tickets online. 10542 E. State Route 73 Waynesville, OhÂ
You can follow Michelle for more things to do in Cincy on Instagram HeyMichelle1Â
Do you want to know where to eat, drink and have fun in Cincinnati? Check out my page Â
https://heymichelle-help.com
Imbiber Dave says hola with an Espinosa in his piehole.
I spent last week in Phoenix, and as awesome as the weather has been here in Cincy the last few weeks, this approached heaven on earth type stuff. There is nothing quite like 82 with perfect sun during the day and 68 with a slight breeze in the evening.
Now we didn’t make it to the Superstition Mountains like Doc recommended a couple weeks ago, but spending most of the day outside in Scottsdale and Glendale was AOK.
When you find yourself with friends in an environment like this, it really doesn’t matter if your drink is served in a brown paper bag from a convenience store. Luckily for us, we were sitting outside of Fine Ash Cigar Lounge, enjoying Weller Special Reserve Bourbon, and something I had never tried before, an Espinosa Cigar.
Now some of you readers, as well as writers of this blog may be partial to Nicaraguan cigars. Product from Estelà is becoming so popular, and the quality is so high, that long time Dominican stalwarts like The Fuente family continue to source more from this rich soil. Espinosa is newer on the scene, but you would never know it when smoking their Habano #5.
This robusto shaped smoke is labeled as medium body, which can mean quite a wide range of things. Luckily for my palate, this was exactly what I was looking for. I enjoy medium to full flavor, without the punch (read punishment) that some medium to full bodied cigars can sometimes dole out. Like finding that wine that has a ton of fruit, but light tannin so you don’t get dried out too quickly. The draw was perfect, and the taste was consistent to the finger warming end. I’m going to grab some of these to sample on the golf course soon.
One last shout out, and I have no idea how I missed this on all my previous trips to the desert. The vampire taco, a delightful blend of gordita and crunch wrap supreme in taco form, is an absolute must have. Feel free to pair this with a grand or spicy margarita, which are always top notch in this city.
Cheers!
cincybeerguydave@gmail.com
TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . In honor of Bronson Arroyo. Not a big Vedder/Pearl Jam guy, but I thought the Vedder-written soundtrack to the movie Into The Wild was thoughtful, moving and fit perfectly the movie it enhanced. This tune is especially good.
I knew all the rules, but the rules did not know me. . .
I think I liked Bronson stretching back to 2004, and watching him -- and the rest of the Red Sox -- do the unthinkable in that ALCS against the Yankees. He played a huge role in that, with his "cool." Integral part of that team, and integral part of the Reds while he was here, both in pitching and other areas. He's one of those that you could just look at and know, he would have had success elsewhere if not in baseball. Just a talented fella, all around.
Ref. the OSU portion of this morning's program, I don't think many of the diehard OSU fans care much if it's competitive or not. I say this with the background of my mother's side of the family being all diehard OSU fans -- they live in Columbus -- along with my brother being an OSU alum. I, too, was once a huge OSU fan as a kid, and even attended a few games here and there. But, as I've gotten older -- and graduated from UC, and have enjoyed seeing the building of that program -- OSU has gotten, in other words, quite stale for me. I'd rather Armor-All my car on Saturday than watch a 63-0 shellacking every week, and then a 42-14 snoozer in "The Game" against Michigan. It's Madden on rookie level on steroids.
But do the OSU diehards care? I don't think so. I think it's gotten to a point where it's a competition between them -- the OSU fan base -- and other fan bases, particularly the SEC, and who can lay the biggest beatdown on whoever they're playing that week -- competitive games be damned. It's all about bragging rights ... just look at how the OSU fan base interacts with other Ohio school fan bases whenever they play. We've all seen it, even in the archives of TML.
That, and OSU is essentially the entire identity of Columbus. I know, I know, they've got the Crew and the Blue Jackets, and they are the state capitol, after all, but OSU has long been what has defined Columbus, Ohio and the majority of its populace since its days of being known as "Cow Town." If the city wasn't named Columbus, they'd name it "The Ohio State University Capitol City of Ohio."
Much could likely be said for Tuscaloosa, Alabama, as well. The school defines the city, and if the school is a winner, then the city is a winner by default -- if even it isn't necessarily the case. Again, only my opinion.
It does bring a smile to my face, however, in thinking of how my grandfather, born in Toledo and living his adult life in Columbus, cheered on the Maize and Blue until the ripe old age of 91. He wouldn't let Woody, nor OSU, define who he was. He didn't even really give two hoots for Michigan, either ... but wasn't going to be part of the herd in Columbus when it came to OSU.
Back in the days of old, there were the cool hippies and then there were the hippy devils. Bronson was/is an ultra cool hippy, Mr. Chill Himself, who could do as many amazing tricks with a baseball as a guitar. He was your archetypal blue collar intellectual, astute about the vibrations of strings, the aerodynamics of spinning horsehide, the psychology of people, and catching a ride on that last perfect wave at the end of a gorgeous Hawaiian day. He was the ultimate Mr Keepin It Real. Baseball, nay, Life needs more people like him.
Dang, I just reread that. Yes, I am after your job, Doc. Watch out; I's a-comin'.
I wish Brady would yell at me once, just so I could tell him to go pluck himself. I'd then find the nearest football and throw it at him.......and then run as fast as I can in the opposite direction. Throwing things at legends is not always the wisest life choice. And, considering my opposite-direction speed in the 40 is way down this year, maybe I'll sit this one out, and let somebody else drill Tom in the head. Lord know, He needs it. Yes I capitalized "He" for obvious reasons.