Bengals Will Win! They're Awesome!

Life as we know it will survive

The Bengals spent the week declaring themselves “back’’ and we spent the week agreeing with them. Is everyone right?

Frequent Perusers of This Space might recall my occasional cantankerous-ness. I’m a devoted contrarian when it comes to the NFL. Maybe especially when it comes to the NFL, where you’re only as good as your last play and disaster is never more than a QB knee injury away.

A month ago — hell, a week ago — the offense was in low gear. Zac Taylor couldn’t call the right plays, Joe Mixon was running to twilight. Ja’Marr Chase was reduced to slapping singles through the shift.

Now?

Taylor’s congratulating himself for his flexibility and nobody’s arguing. Mixon’s got his mojo back. Ja’Marr is Ja’Marr, ie a bomb in your hand. The Bengals have found their “identity,’’ doncha know.

All after one half of successful ball in Nawlins last Sunday, against a ho-hum Saints team. Really?

(BTW, “identity’’ has become one of those sports-trendy words that has been so overused, it has lost all meaning. As of now, TML is officially banning “identity’’ from the Morning Line lexicon.)

Assumptions in the NFL are so shaky, they can be wrecked by one play. What if Chase doesn’t wriggle from a tackle and romp those 60 yards? What if The Men settle for 3 there, and Raggedy Andy gets the Saints into FG range and Lutz makes the kick?

Are we so sure today of the Bengals id—. . . id— . . . status?

The NFL season is a series of 17 one-act plays, independent and distinct. One win doesn’t mean anything except you play another game. Unless you are very, very good — Buffalo at the moment, and Philly and KC — the league is survival, week to week.

The Bengals host Atlanta Sunday. Two 3-3 clubs currently enjoying socialism, NFL style. I wrote Monday the Men are the league’s most perfect 3-3 club. . . currently in Parity Nowhere, but with huge potential to change their situation. The Falcons are overachieving. But they’re still a big So-What.

Each team has won three of its last four. The Bengals are seeking an iden— . . . a face they can depend on. The Falcons run the ball and hope Marcus Mariota overcomes his lack of passing skill. Which he did by miles last week, when he completed his first 13 throws and ran for 50 yards and a TD.

If the Bengals win, well, life will be swell around here. They’re Back, for real. Unless they lose to Cleveland next week.

Atlanta is 3rd in the league in rushing yards and yards per attempt, the Bengals are 21st against the run, with DJ Reader still out. That could be a problem. Logan Wilson might not play. He’s a good pass defender. They could have used him against Mariota’s popgun passing attack, ranked 30th.

Howevuh. . .

The Falcons are 31st in passing yards allowed per attempt. They have eight sacks, next-to-last in the league. I’d say if the Bengals want to walk the talk, this Sunday would be a fine time to start. Let’s see four quarters of aggression and no, absolutely zero, talk of deep, soft zones and Cover 2s.

If we don’t, it’ll be just another game. Not another reason to hyperventilate.

Men 23

Falcons 17

NOT EVERYONE AGREES WITH MY PICK, proving intelligent life on Earth does indeed still exist. This is the esports Madden football simulation of Bengals-Falcons, as played by Cincinnati’s very own esports team, the Fear. As with most things new, I wasn’t aware we even had an esports team. No matter, you can watch them sim-play the Bengals next opponent every Wednesday at the Hard Rock Cafe.

IF ONLY. . . From the NY Times, Phillies owner John Middleton, a billionaire several times over, who spent a chunk of his fortune buying Bryce Harper and Zack Wheeler:

“The desire to do something special, to do something great, is a passion,” Middleton said in his box at spring training, in Clearwater, Fla., shortly after signing Harper for 13 years and $330 million.

“It’s not grounded in business logic, it’s not grounded in baseball analytics. I think it’s your passion as a fan that kind of fuels your ambition. It certainly fuels my ambition for this team.”

Not every town can have a John Middleton or two. Every town can, and should, have an owner who thinks like John Middleton and puts his money where his thoughts are.

KISS YOUR ASH GOODBYE. . . A beetle has killed the ash baseball bat:

In 2001, Hillerich & Bradsby was producing roughly 800,000 ash bats a year, with many of them going to scores of major leaguers. Today, the company retains only one ash devotee: Evan Longoria of the San Francisco Giants, whose team did not make the postseason.

Most of baseball history has been written with ash bats, from Joe DiMaggio’s 56-game hitting streak in 1941 to Roger Maris’s 61 home runs in 1961 to Mark McGwire’s 70 homers in 1998. (NYTimes)

The emerald ash borer killed two ash trees in my former backyard. Has it gotten yours?

TELL US HOW YOU REALLY FEEL. . . The Kelce Brothers, Travis and Jason, host a podcast. Here is Jason on Tom Brady yelling at his O-line on the sideline last week:

“Did you see the clip? He was yelling at them boys,” Jason told Travis. "Listen, he’s Tom Brady, I can’t say nothing. If Tom yells at me, I’m probably not gonna say nothing neither. But playing o-line is hard. If there’s one thing I do not like, it is quarterbacks getting into offensive linemen. Like bro, I am f---ing doing the best I can, brother! Get the f--- out of my face! I will put you in that trash can over there if you don’t shut the f--- up.

“The last thing I want is a motherf---er that can’t get hit or it’s called roughing the passer to come up to me and tell me how to f---ing wrestle somebody every play. Get the f--- out of here."

AND NOW. . . HEY MICHELLE MAKES YOUR WEEKENDS BUSY.

Coffee Festival ~ This Sat & Sun get the buzzz going at this fun event. Meet the iconic coffee companies in our area, sip, eat and watch the Latte Throw-down and walk around the beautiful Music Hall. Ticketed event for Ohio River Foundation 

Harvest Festival ~ Saturday 12-10 at High Grain Brewery. Barrel Aged Beer release, pumpkin painting, Fall food specials, live music and so much more. 

Kings Island Halloween Haunt ~ Now thru Oct. 29th KI is completely transformed into a haunted park full of scare mazes, live entertainment, hundreds of creatures lurking around the park, and of course the rollercoasters. This is for 13 and older

Fall Fest at Washington Park ~ Saturday & Sunday 11-4 enjoy live music, vendors, children activities.. tons of family fun!

The Acres ~ I recently visited this great little bar with really good food that just happens to be a driving range and mini golf! You may know of this place on Reading Rd. because it’s been around a long time but ohh what some paint, love and a chef can do! Seriously go check it out, hit some balls or maybe just go for a bite either way you’ll like it! Mon -Thurs 4-9, Fri & Sat 11-10, Sun 11-9.

Where to eat ~ I have to shout out Ruby’s new location at Fountain Square! Just wow.. In full Jeff Ruby style this over the top glitz and glam spot is a must visit. So if you have a special occasion coming up I would say grab a reservation and be ready to enjoy some of the best steaks, delish cocktails and a whole lot of decor! 

Do you want to know where to eat, drink and have fun in Cincinnati? Check out my page: https://heymichelle-help.com

IMBIBER DAVE ENJOYS BREWS WITH SOME GUY FROM LOVELAND.

Having a beer with Doc last week was pretty special. I remember seeing his photo on the left column of the sports page when I was a kid. My Dad was nice enough to let me steal that section while he read something enthralling about inflation or the weather forecast.

Hopefully this goes without saying, but imbibing is so much more about who than what. Now don’t get me wrong, you should make the what count, and enjoy that what in a where worth sharing, like Narrow Path Brewing for example.

The city of Loveland has really blossomed, and the people you meet while sitting around a fire there make you feel relaxed and present with whatever company you keep.

It was truly a blast to surf topics with Doc. As you can see from what he wrote last week, the stories he could share about imbibing and traveling make it seem like I live in a cardboard box.

Now while you can’t quite replicate a special place like New Orleans anywhere else, the reason stories stick with us are because of the people that shared the experience with us.

So, you should grab some friends and head to Narrow Path soon. Might I suggest that you try one of their many delicious beers, like Trail Chaser Blonde, Flatwoods KY Common, Depths Echo Imperial Oatmeal Stout, Brews Traveler Coffee Stout, and the Coconut Porter. If you saw the pic last week, yes we were lucky enough to go behind the bar and take turns acting like Barney and Homer under the taps.

Whether you can head to this watering hole or not, take some time this weekend to think about those folks you have the best time with, and if you are lucky enough to connect with them in person, take an extra beat to recognize what imbibing is really all about.

Cheers!
cincybeerguydave@gmail.com

PROGRAMMING NOTE. . . Headed to Brooklyn for the weekend to visit our son and his bride. So, no TML today or Monday. The world grieves,

TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . Making a two-minute tune is hard. much harder than composing a 5-minute tune. Here’s one of the best 2-minute men ever. Of course, if you disagree, gimme a better one.