Beyond the Sea...a good one. I guess I needed that today...pretty riled up just trying to defend Democracy with common sense just doesn't work anymore. No one really answers about the real deep problems that are looming out there.
Here's my favorite. It was a summer tournament game at St. Xavier High School. The temperature was in the mid nineties and high humidity. There is no shade there ! In the bottom of the first, I called a strike. A spectator yelled, " I know it's hot, but don't start seeing mirages " ! We laughed and laughed....
Mark what a beautiful and refreshing read. Thank you for brightening my day. I was so enamored just by reading all your family's accomplishments in the first paragraph.
When I think of an umpire, I think of a guy who can't wait to get out of his hot gear behind the plate, head into a cool space and share a beer and cards with his buddies. I guess I heard that when I was a kid watching the Cubbies years ago from Jack Brickhouse, the announcer. He loved the Umps. It's a pretty dangerous job these days as hard as balls are being pitched into their area....not to mention those that ricochet off a bat or glove or helmet or whatever. You are a courageous man, not to mention the flack from parents and fans coming your way. However, you did this for younger teams, but still. Thanks for sharing.
I'm an arbitrary writer, it's true if I write it, or it's not if I don't want it to be, but now that it's written, does it become true if it's not? I guess that's why we are mostly "creative" writers. I learn by facts and experience, but I write by expounding upon what I wanted it to be and what it actually was. It's easiest for me to write the truth most of the time. So I believe that's how Umps feel, also.
I LOVED the Jimmy Buffett song. That's when my tears began. He could write just how I feel about the ocean, the peacefulness of the water...the serenity...the calmness. It fills my heart and soul as it did his. "The sounds of the low tide....take it all in." I just wrote something very similar to that in latest substack blog yesterday....how I stood near the water at the Key West Beach Club and would listen to the low quiet waves as they lapped upon the sand so melodically....it was mesmerizing, hypnotic and spiritual.....
I made a pilgrimage to Key West the year before Captain Tony died.. I had a copy of Jimmy Buffett, the Key West Years by Tim Cocoran, on of Jimmy's buddies. It traced all the apartments he had, especially the one by Louis Backyard. That's were he wrote A1A. I also went to Captain Tony's and he signed my hat. I found his studio by Schooner's Wharf and The Chart House were Jerry Jeff Walker got him a gig. I saw Mac McAnally in February at the Ludlow Garage. He told everyone that the guy you saw on stage was same guy off the stage.
No doubt. His employees loved him and he was just a 'regular guy' when I saw him at the private Margaritaville concert he did for his employees at the restaurant. Be sure to read Hemmingway's Key West by Stuart McIver. It gives great insights into the history of Sloppy Joe's and Hemmingway's personal life there. I really enjoyed it.
I was truly shocked the first time I got whacked in the facemask with a foul ball from a 6th grader. There's some serious impact! Can't imagine getting a 100-mph bell-ringer.
I saw many young catchers ill-prepared to protect the family jewels, if you know what I mean. Not a pretty sight when their chickens came home to roost.
Foul balls were the enemy for me ! I have scars on both my arms where the spinning threads took off skin. I also got hit in the facemask many times. Once, the impact chipped two teeth ! Also, a few broken cups....
I got hit with a teed off golf ball on the beak of my visor. that even shook my timbers. I can't even imagine getting hit with a baseball. My brother got hit by a pitch in high school in the temple and he went down out cold.
Great column today Mark. My husband was a high school coach. I remember him coming home after a tough loss that we both probably didn't agree with the calls that night He told me the ref smiled when he came over to address my husband after a "missed" call. He told him "it ain't a foul unless I call it a foul" made me think hard after that. Didn't mean I didn't disagree with a few though😂. It is a tough job and you really do have to love it to do it!
Great subject, Mark! I umpired knothole when I was 15 years old, reffed volleyball for four years while I was in college, and was the starting official for swimming for 13 years. Anyone that has ever played any game will tell you they have a much better appreciation of a given sport when they are trained to officiate it. However, the main benefit/takeaway from the experience is learning how to be calm in the face of adversity. I was threatened, spit on, and someone in a men's v-ball league even tried to shake me down off the ref's stand! But I wouldn't trade the experience I got from doing those jobs.
We had police action once when we felt threatened. The cop that approached us asked us what happened. After we told him, he replied, " we get called names like that all the time " ! I said, " Yes sir, but you have mace and a gun, all I have is a water bottle " !
Great job, Mark! This brought back memories ... bad ones :-) I ump'ed the summer between my junior and senior years in high school. I had committed for the summer and counted the days until it was over. I had one incident with a coach following me my car screaming, and another with a fight breaking out between two dads. I WAS 17!! Never had a problem with the kids.
I had two Moms going at it and one of the coaches said I had to stop it. I said, " no sir , you do " About that time, the ef bombs started. I told the coach, " I got this " I slammed my mask against the backstop . That brought a quick silence. I said, " I'm going to brush off the plate and signal " play ball" if I hear one word until then, these fine 12 year olds will be playing in front of an empty stand " ! My partner said after the game, " I've never umpired a game where you could hear a pin drop, till today " !
Thank you for your thoughtful writing. Hats off to. I umpped some when I was teen, 50+ years ago, but my most "stark" (?) memory on this subject was being a coach for 12 and under girls softball. One game we had a young lady ump, only maybe 14 yrs old... the parents... I guess "fans" berated this young ump so terribly she started crying. I was disgusted with the people impersonating adults/parents. I was on the field saying " come, she just a kid - it's only a game"! After that, the parents didn't want anymore of me and I them. This was 35 yrs ago in Anderson. I suspect its only gotten worse. You're the ump, you sound like a reasonable guy... good luck. I'd throw the parents out if I could, and no way do I want AI type umps.... give me a human! We all may miss a few, but that's game and life. No way do I want some robot make calls, robot like.
Jimmy Buffett, he was such a great story teller. Wow! I got tired of the marketing of Parrot heads on everything, everywhere.... but man, could he spin a soft n sensitive yarn... about heading back to Rock Bottom with just a few friends... just a few friends.
Thank you for your effort, and don't give up or give in
Great job as a first time Hemingway, hope you get to do more. I played football growing up, coached youth football for 9 years and then a couple fellow coaches and I decided to become referees. We attended the classes, passed the tests and became OHIO HSAA licensed officials. I had no idea how many rules I didn’t really know until that training. I wish all coaches would have to take a shortened version of the training. I was also a police officer so I was used to dealing with verbal abuse. I had no idea how bad it could get. Mothers in the stands could be the worst. Coaches who watched NFL games and thought they were rules experts were especially fun to deal with ( high school rules are different than NFL and NCAA). I loved being a part of what I believe is a great sport, but I understand why a lot of officials stopped as the abuse has gotten way out of hand.
When I started baseball classes, it was divided into two separate classes, beginners and veterans. A few years later, it went to three, beginners, second through five, then veterans. So many people dropped out after the first year that a middle class was added to teach game management. Most of us knew the rulebook, it was the game control that was taught.
That's a very under-appreciated element of officiating. Didn't take long for me to learn how important it was to get kids out of the pool quickly when they finished their heat. Every extra couple of seconds you average over 150+ heats adds to an already excruciatingly long event.
Umping/reffing is a thankless pursuit. I appreciate anyone who engages in it and definitely try to keep it light during kids' games for sure. Jimmy B was the man--grow to appreciate him more with each passing year.
Thanks for an entertaining Hemingway, Mark! Baseball is the ultimate game for arguing what occurred in a loud and pretentious manner. However, I grew up in a house where behavior was scrutinized closely and was strongly discouraged from booing or utilizing the Bronx cheer. That meant I was an observer only in the heat of battle.
So now when I see people get out of hand, I feel embarrassed for them. It’s human nature and is not going to end, of course, but please remember some fans are supportive of umpires and referees. It’s just a game after all even if you bet on it.
I read a book years ago about Bill Klem who umpired in the majors back in the early 20th century. One memorable story was about a catcher who was an early adoptee of “pitch framing”. Bill wasn’t having that and made a point of it every time he had the guy in front of him, even tossing him over it several times. So, when the sabermetric guys started measuring it as a catcher strength or weakness, I couldn’t help but think of old Bill actively discouraging it in front of him. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
And next is a robotic umpire for the strike zone. I always maintain that a shortstop that allows an easy ground ball go between his legs made a mistake. Does he get to replay it ? A pitcher grooves one for a home run, does he get to replay it ? When slomo was first introduced in the 60s, it proved that the umpires were right more than 90% of the time. Now it's reviewed at 100s of angles and minutes of scrutinizing. We get one shot from one position ! Humans being humans !
Like a lefty called in from the bullpen...well done Mark! You retired the side filling in for Doc.
I spend years coaching and being a fan of my kids; my daughter ended up playing college basketball so there were a lot of years! I never could understand what got people so riled up...I guess if you had issues in your personal life they were exacerbated with the tension of close games? I had a saying to basketball refs as a coach: "I may respectfully disagree with a call or two - I'd appreciate you respectfully telling me why I'm wrong." Never got a T called in all those years. After the kids were done I decided to do my penance in a sport my kids never played and I hadn't followed a lot. Took up reffing for Lacrosse and had a fun run; had great training and support. Heard plenty from upset parents and saw some things that made me shake my head more than once. Youth sports are being decimated by bad behavior amongst parents.
I always explained a call if I was approached in a respectful manner. I agree with your assessment of people's problems being taken out on official. I always had a game or two when I was younger that made me want to quit. But, I love the game to much to let a hothead ruin the joy.
MLB umpires should be very good at what they do. For any other league, the games should be for fun and to learn useful life skills. For any fan to get so heated at a meaningless game really makes me question their maturity. For fans of FNL, Joe McCoy comes to mind. Everyone should ask themselves, do you want to be a Joe McCoy or an Eric Taylor?
Mark, thumbs up on your guest column today! I too am an umpire (HS baseball and HS/College softball) … 25+ years in Cincy and now 5 here in central FL. You are right, no matter how many games you’ve umpired, the good umpires still have a bit of butterflies in anticipation of the next game … always striving to be the best and call an umpire’s (unattainable) “perfect” game, so to speak. As you can know doubt attest, probably the most gratifying assessment of how you did is when the losing manager takes the time to acknowledge, “Hey Blue, good job.”
I remember when I was coaching a high school boys team and I was jawing with the referee. He says to me that I should learn the rules first before arguing with him, because I was wrong.
That stuck with me so I went to referee classes and became an official. I actually refereed games for a few years. That cured me from ever arguing with a referee, even when I knew he or she was wrong. During the next break in action , I would quietly and discreetly discuss it with them.
My solution is that all coaches should take the same classes, if possible. Even working some games themselves. This would probably stop most of the arguments. Once you realize how difficult and stressful it is to make split decisions with a massive or even a small audience, you learn to appreciate the referees, umpires, linesman, etc, so much more.
It is thankless and you don't get paid much at all. These folks are there because they care and love the game and the experience.
Years ago, a community rec league had a pre season tournament where the coaches had to referee. We were hired to attend the games and " educate " the coaches with grades on positioning, rules knowledge, and there calls. Pretty cool ! As a close friend of mine once said to a guy giving her grief, " We have shirts in your size too " !
Beyond the Sea...a good one. I guess I needed that today...pretty riled up just trying to defend Democracy with common sense just doesn't work anymore. No one really answers about the real deep problems that are looming out there.
My wife should be an umpire. She believes her decisions are always right and if I disagree she tosses me out of the house.
I have some eyeglasses I can lend ya, Mark. 😉
What were a few of the other tired, worn out cliches you used to hear? Or funniest?
Here's my favorite. It was a summer tournament game at St. Xavier High School. The temperature was in the mid nineties and high humidity. There is no shade there ! In the bottom of the first, I called a strike. A spectator yelled, " I know it's hot, but don't start seeing mirages " ! We laughed and laughed....
That's pretty good. "Midnight at the Oasis,..."😊
Mark what a beautiful and refreshing read. Thank you for brightening my day. I was so enamored just by reading all your family's accomplishments in the first paragraph.
When I think of an umpire, I think of a guy who can't wait to get out of his hot gear behind the plate, head into a cool space and share a beer and cards with his buddies. I guess I heard that when I was a kid watching the Cubbies years ago from Jack Brickhouse, the announcer. He loved the Umps. It's a pretty dangerous job these days as hard as balls are being pitched into their area....not to mention those that ricochet off a bat or glove or helmet or whatever. You are a courageous man, not to mention the flack from parents and fans coming your way. However, you did this for younger teams, but still. Thanks for sharing.
I'm an arbitrary writer, it's true if I write it, or it's not if I don't want it to be, but now that it's written, does it become true if it's not? I guess that's why we are mostly "creative" writers. I learn by facts and experience, but I write by expounding upon what I wanted it to be and what it actually was. It's easiest for me to write the truth most of the time. So I believe that's how Umps feel, also.
I LOVED the Jimmy Buffett song. That's when my tears began. He could write just how I feel about the ocean, the peacefulness of the water...the serenity...the calmness. It fills my heart and soul as it did his. "The sounds of the low tide....take it all in." I just wrote something very similar to that in latest substack blog yesterday....how I stood near the water at the Key West Beach Club and would listen to the low quiet waves as they lapped upon the sand so melodically....it was mesmerizing, hypnotic and spiritual.....
I made a pilgrimage to Key West the year before Captain Tony died.. I had a copy of Jimmy Buffett, the Key West Years by Tim Cocoran, on of Jimmy's buddies. It traced all the apartments he had, especially the one by Louis Backyard. That's were he wrote A1A. I also went to Captain Tony's and he signed my hat. I found his studio by Schooner's Wharf and The Chart House were Jerry Jeff Walker got him a gig. I saw Mac McAnally in February at the Ludlow Garage. He told everyone that the guy you saw on stage was same guy off the stage.
No doubt. His employees loved him and he was just a 'regular guy' when I saw him at the private Margaritaville concert he did for his employees at the restaurant. Be sure to read Hemmingway's Key West by Stuart McIver. It gives great insights into the history of Sloppy Joe's and Hemmingway's personal life there. I really enjoyed it.
I was truly shocked the first time I got whacked in the facemask with a foul ball from a 6th grader. There's some serious impact! Can't imagine getting a 100-mph bell-ringer.
I saw many young catchers ill-prepared to protect the family jewels, if you know what I mean. Not a pretty sight when their chickens came home to roost.
Foul balls were the enemy for me ! I have scars on both my arms where the spinning threads took off skin. I also got hit in the facemask many times. Once, the impact chipped two teeth ! Also, a few broken cups....
I got hit with a teed off golf ball on the beak of my visor. that even shook my timbers. I can't even imagine getting hit with a baseball. My brother got hit by a pitch in high school in the temple and he went down out cold.
Great column today Mark. My husband was a high school coach. I remember him coming home after a tough loss that we both probably didn't agree with the calls that night He told me the ref smiled when he came over to address my husband after a "missed" call. He told him "it ain't a foul unless I call it a foul" made me think hard after that. Didn't mean I didn't disagree with a few though😂. It is a tough job and you really do have to love it to do it!
I really believe that for most of the people I worked with, it was a calling.
Great subject, Mark! I umpired knothole when I was 15 years old, reffed volleyball for four years while I was in college, and was the starting official for swimming for 13 years. Anyone that has ever played any game will tell you they have a much better appreciation of a given sport when they are trained to officiate it. However, the main benefit/takeaway from the experience is learning how to be calm in the face of adversity. I was threatened, spit on, and someone in a men's v-ball league even tried to shake me down off the ref's stand! But I wouldn't trade the experience I got from doing those jobs.
We had police action once when we felt threatened. The cop that approached us asked us what happened. After we told him, he replied, " we get called names like that all the time " ! I said, " Yes sir, but you have mace and a gun, all I have is a water bottle " !
I heard a story about umpires that has stayed with me:
A rookie umpire said, "I calls them as I sees them".
A veteran umpire said, "I calls them as they are".
The old grizzled umpire said, "They ain't, 'til I call them!"
Good one !
Perfect!
Great job, Mark! This brought back memories ... bad ones :-) I ump'ed the summer between my junior and senior years in high school. I had committed for the summer and counted the days until it was over. I had one incident with a coach following me my car screaming, and another with a fight breaking out between two dads. I WAS 17!! Never had a problem with the kids.
I had two Moms going at it and one of the coaches said I had to stop it. I said, " no sir , you do " About that time, the ef bombs started. I told the coach, " I got this " I slammed my mask against the backstop . That brought a quick silence. I said, " I'm going to brush off the plate and signal " play ball" if I hear one word until then, these fine 12 year olds will be playing in front of an empty stand " ! My partner said after the game, " I've never umpired a game where you could hear a pin drop, till today " !
Thank you for your thoughtful writing. Hats off to. I umpped some when I was teen, 50+ years ago, but my most "stark" (?) memory on this subject was being a coach for 12 and under girls softball. One game we had a young lady ump, only maybe 14 yrs old... the parents... I guess "fans" berated this young ump so terribly she started crying. I was disgusted with the people impersonating adults/parents. I was on the field saying " come, she just a kid - it's only a game"! After that, the parents didn't want anymore of me and I them. This was 35 yrs ago in Anderson. I suspect its only gotten worse. You're the ump, you sound like a reasonable guy... good luck. I'd throw the parents out if I could, and no way do I want AI type umps.... give me a human! We all may miss a few, but that's game and life. No way do I want some robot make calls, robot like.
Jimmy Buffett, he was such a great story teller. Wow! I got tired of the marketing of Parrot heads on everything, everywhere.... but man, could he spin a soft n sensitive yarn... about heading back to Rock Bottom with just a few friends... just a few friends.
Thank you for your effort, and don't give up or give in
It's the quality, not the quantity of friends.
Great job as a first time Hemingway, hope you get to do more. I played football growing up, coached youth football for 9 years and then a couple fellow coaches and I decided to become referees. We attended the classes, passed the tests and became OHIO HSAA licensed officials. I had no idea how many rules I didn’t really know until that training. I wish all coaches would have to take a shortened version of the training. I was also a police officer so I was used to dealing with verbal abuse. I had no idea how bad it could get. Mothers in the stands could be the worst. Coaches who watched NFL games and thought they were rules experts were especially fun to deal with ( high school rules are different than NFL and NCAA). I loved being a part of what I believe is a great sport, but I understand why a lot of officials stopped as the abuse has gotten way out of hand.
When I started baseball classes, it was divided into two separate classes, beginners and veterans. A few years later, it went to three, beginners, second through five, then veterans. So many people dropped out after the first year that a middle class was added to teach game management. Most of us knew the rulebook, it was the game control that was taught.
That's a very under-appreciated element of officiating. Didn't take long for me to learn how important it was to get kids out of the pool quickly when they finished their heat. Every extra couple of seconds you average over 150+ heats adds to an already excruciatingly long event.
Umping/reffing is a thankless pursuit. I appreciate anyone who engages in it and definitely try to keep it light during kids' games for sure. Jimmy B was the man--grow to appreciate him more with each passing year.
Thanks for an entertaining Hemingway, Mark! Baseball is the ultimate game for arguing what occurred in a loud and pretentious manner. However, I grew up in a house where behavior was scrutinized closely and was strongly discouraged from booing or utilizing the Bronx cheer. That meant I was an observer only in the heat of battle.
So now when I see people get out of hand, I feel embarrassed for them. It’s human nature and is not going to end, of course, but please remember some fans are supportive of umpires and referees. It’s just a game after all even if you bet on it.
I read a book years ago about Bill Klem who umpired in the majors back in the early 20th century. One memorable story was about a catcher who was an early adoptee of “pitch framing”. Bill wasn’t having that and made a point of it every time he had the guy in front of him, even tossing him over it several times. So, when the sabermetric guys started measuring it as a catcher strength or weakness, I couldn’t help but think of old Bill actively discouraging it in front of him. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
And next is a robotic umpire for the strike zone. I always maintain that a shortstop that allows an easy ground ball go between his legs made a mistake. Does he get to replay it ? A pitcher grooves one for a home run, does he get to replay it ? When slomo was first introduced in the 60s, it proved that the umpires were right more than 90% of the time. Now it's reviewed at 100s of angles and minutes of scrutinizing. We get one shot from one position ! Humans being humans !
Like a lefty called in from the bullpen...well done Mark! You retired the side filling in for Doc.
I spend years coaching and being a fan of my kids; my daughter ended up playing college basketball so there were a lot of years! I never could understand what got people so riled up...I guess if you had issues in your personal life they were exacerbated with the tension of close games? I had a saying to basketball refs as a coach: "I may respectfully disagree with a call or two - I'd appreciate you respectfully telling me why I'm wrong." Never got a T called in all those years. After the kids were done I decided to do my penance in a sport my kids never played and I hadn't followed a lot. Took up reffing for Lacrosse and had a fun run; had great training and support. Heard plenty from upset parents and saw some things that made me shake my head more than once. Youth sports are being decimated by bad behavior amongst parents.
I always explained a call if I was approached in a respectful manner. I agree with your assessment of people's problems being taken out on official. I always had a game or two when I was younger that made me want to quit. But, I love the game to much to let a hothead ruin the joy.
MLB umpires should be very good at what they do. For any other league, the games should be for fun and to learn useful life skills. For any fan to get so heated at a meaningless game really makes me question their maturity. For fans of FNL, Joe McCoy comes to mind. Everyone should ask themselves, do you want to be a Joe McCoy or an Eric Taylor?
My sweet spot ! Friday Night Lights, as Doc and I have discussed was the best !
Mark, thumbs up on your guest column today! I too am an umpire (HS baseball and HS/College softball) … 25+ years in Cincy and now 5 here in central FL. You are right, no matter how many games you’ve umpired, the good umpires still have a bit of butterflies in anticipation of the next game … always striving to be the best and call an umpire’s (unattainable) “perfect” game, so to speak. As you can know doubt attest, probably the most gratifying assessment of how you did is when the losing manager takes the time to acknowledge, “Hey Blue, good job.”
I love it when spectators say they didn't even notice the umpires. THAT'S a perfect game !
I remember when I was coaching a high school boys team and I was jawing with the referee. He says to me that I should learn the rules first before arguing with him, because I was wrong.
That stuck with me so I went to referee classes and became an official. I actually refereed games for a few years. That cured me from ever arguing with a referee, even when I knew he or she was wrong. During the next break in action , I would quietly and discreetly discuss it with them.
My solution is that all coaches should take the same classes, if possible. Even working some games themselves. This would probably stop most of the arguments. Once you realize how difficult and stressful it is to make split decisions with a massive or even a small audience, you learn to appreciate the referees, umpires, linesman, etc, so much more.
It is thankless and you don't get paid much at all. These folks are there because they care and love the game and the experience.
Years ago, a community rec league had a pre season tournament where the coaches had to referee. We were hired to attend the games and " educate " the coaches with grades on positioning, rules knowledge, and there calls. Pretty cool ! As a close friend of mine once said to a guy giving her grief, " We have shirts in your size too " !