A Resolution I Will Keep

Thanks to a sad, frightening and hopeful weekend

THE RESOLUTION PEOPLE on Sunday morning jammed the place I work out. These are the folks who have decided 2023 will be the year they lose weight and feel great. They’re around until about mid-February, until the weather gets a little warmer or they lose their headphones, accidentally snag their nylon workout clothes and/or break a nail.

Am I being snide about this? Am I?

After all, they’re no worse than the regulars who figure a workout bench is a great place to sit and read text messages. It got me to thinking about New Year’s Resolutions, aka The Day We Lie to Ourselves.

I’m not a Resolution Guy. I’ve never figured how to frame one. I mean, are they supposed to be permanent? If I’m extra good one month, do I get penance the next? Plus, the notion of fundamentally changing one’s self seems daunting at best and entirely unrealistic.

Except this weekend, when maybe the way I see things changed.

A family member was diagnosed with a serious illness. Curable, not life threatening, but a stop-the-world moment nevertheless. I like to think I’m a grateful guy (I sure preach gratitude enough in This Space) and I’m always mindful of time’s finish-line sprint.

I love life. I won’t do well seeing it dissipate.

Unless I make a change. A resolution. The sudden bad news was the impetus for what I hope — I resolve — to be a tweak in how I look at what’s left of my dance on this earth.

More patience. Forbearance, forgiveness, whatever you want to call it. That includes for myself. Maybe especially myself. Too often, I can see daily living as one big pain in the ass. I need a bigger ability to lay back and back off. To do yard work and love the yard, if that makes sense. Almost nothing is so bad that it’s empty of good. I appreciate the good, but I don’t necessarily seek it out, or even recognize it. Time to start seeking.

I read a story yesterday, from The Atlantic magazine. The publication interviewed Oliver Burkeman, whom it described as “a writer who focuses on this nexus of mortality and productivity.’’

I won’t even try to guess what that means. But his words made sense. Burkeman suggests we ask too much of ourselves upon making resolutions.

“In the culture of New Year’s resolutions, there’s a really heavy dose of perfectionism—a sense in which it’s all about starting completely afresh and being completely perfect in some area of life from this day forward. I don’t think fresh starts like that are actually possible, and I don’t think aiming to make them is the healthiest way to change.

“One of the pitfalls of New Year’s resolution culture is that it encourages us all to buy into the idea that you need to make some big change in order to be a minimally acceptable, worthwhile person.’’

The interviewer then asks Burkeman, “Talk to me a little bit about what resolutions might make sense if we were to stop treating our lives as though they are something to be tamed.’’

Burkeman: It’s helpful for resolutions to be resilient—ones that you’re going to be able to stick with even when life doesn’t run as perfectly as you planned.

This notion of changing our habits can be an obstacle to just right now, today, once doing a thing. If you’re daunted by becoming a runner or becoming a meditator, just go for a run; just sit down and meditate.’’

Sounds like a plan.

Now, then. . .

AFTER A WONDERFULLY CHAOTIC WEEKEND of football — NFL and NFL-in-training wheels — time for a few snap judgments. First, the playoff nuts and bolts:

AFC playoff matchups as they stand today

• (7) New England Patriots at (2) Buffalo Bills

• (6) Baltimore Ravens at (3) Cincinnati Bengals

• (5) Los Angeles Chargers at (4) Jacksonville Jaguars

• Wild-card round bye: (1) Kansas City Chiefs.

• The Bengals can get the No. 1 seed with two wins, Bills tonight and next Sunday at home v. Baltimore, but only if the Chiefs lose to the Raiders. The Men clinch the North by beating the Bills this week or the Ravens next Sunday.

Either way, if the current seeds hold, the Men would host Baltimore two weeks in a row, then face the Bills in Buffalo in the divisional round. And that’s a big reason tonight is huge. Who wants to navigate roadies at Buffalo and KC in successive weeks?

Did youse watch the Ravens Sunday night? They’re nothing special without Lamar Jackson. Kenny Pickett had his way with them late, and no one is fitting Pickett for the Joe Burrow suit.

The Game tonight will be intense. It’s also an appetizer. The AFC playoffs are Chiefs, Bills, Bengals and Field.

MEANWHILE. . . What happened for about eight hours on Saturday was nothing short of magical ridiculousness. The games were tributes to the hearts and skills of guys who used to play for free. The uninitiated met TCU. Ryan Day quelled any notions of his job insecurity. And I’ve never seen a kicker more outwardly, um, concerned than the Ruggles kid, bless him, before his deciding 50-yard FG try wobbled left of Bernie Sanders.

Stetson Bennett, UGA’s former walk-on QB, simply Burrow-ed Ohio State on that last drive. The Bucks won’t forget blowing a 14-point lead in a quarter and change. That said, they should have won, and that’s something no one would have said at kickoff.

WE TAKE THE GOOD WITH THE BAD around here. Xavier played a Sweet game at home Saturday v. #2 UConn. UC’s grope at legitimacy continued Sunday at Temple.

The Musketeers can score. They’re very good at sharing the ball, often good at shooting it. They shot 54 percent v. the Huskies, had 20 assists and 20 points from the bench, 15 of them from Jerome Hunter.

Xavier has made huge strides since early in the year, a mark of good coaching. If Sean Miller has done nothing else, he has motivated Zach Freemantle. Freemantle’s ‘tude had been less than admirable before Miller’s arrival. He led XU with 16 points and 11 rebounds Saturday and added five assists.

The W injects Xavier into the national conversation, quicker than most would have believed in October. It’s a nice team with a very good mix of veteran talent. And the season is still a baby.

On the other hand. . .

How does one mediocre college basketball team get outrebounded by 18 against another mediocre college basketball team? That’s what happened to UC at Temple. Rebounding is effort and focus. It takes no special skill to be a decent rebounder. What that suggests about UC — or at least UC on Sunday — is not good.

Temple is poor. The Owls have already lost at home to Wagner and Maryland-Eastern Shore. They’ve had starters injured. The Owls moved up to #125 in KenPom’s rankings after the win. They’d been outrebounded by two a game before Sunday.

When does it stop being “early’’ for Wes Miller?

I’ve always said any college coach deserves five years. Every first contract should be five years, an entire recruiting cycle, though with NIL maybe that’s a couple years too many. The deal would be ironclad. Coach has to stay; school can’t fire him. Five years.

It would keep coaches from job-hopping. It would save schools the time and money needed to acquire coaches. It would give everyone a thorough chance at a fair evaluation. A little sanity in an insane situation.

Under that framework, Miller’s only just begun.

Still, you like to see progress, in the arena and on the (recruiting) dotted line. Sunday showed Miller’s message hasn’t yet gotten through to his team. Meantime, his best players were all signed by John Brannen.

Your takes, please.

TUNE O’ THE DAY. I think I’ll go outside for awhile. And just smile.