A Few Essential Bengals Words

The Men break through by being who they are.

Let’s face it, retirement can be a grueling business. I mean, you try to decide whether to play golf or go to the gym. It’s a living hell. I needed a break from the grind so we took an all-expenses-not-paid weekend romp to Brooklyn. Great visit with my son and his bride, even if John Q. Thinwallet’s checking account went on IL Monday morning. I’m really not good with $5 cups of house-blend Joe, unless Burrow’s buying.

So, an abbreviated 10 Things From Sunday’s Game Watched While at the Whitney Museum Checking Out Edward Hopper Paintings:

1. The most obvious reason for the Bengals offensive barrage was that the Falcons DBs couldn’t cover me and you. The second-most obvious was, the Men finally took our advice and took what they wanted. Zac Taylor ditched the tap shoes and went straight for the Doc Martens, a trend first noticed in the 2nd half at Nawlins a week earlier. A certain armchair expert has suggested frequently in This Space that a team with such talent on offense shouldn’t be talking about how tough it is to beat Cover 2.

2. You have Higgins, Hurst, Boyd and the unguard-able Chase, and you’re telling me how difficult it is to beat a couple deep safeties not named Ed Reed and Troy Polamalu?

3. The problem wasn’t the personnel or the personnel’s execution. It was the conservatism. Nobody tells Mahomes he’s not throwing to Kelce.

4. I understand the logic: The getting-to-know-you portion of the year for the mostly new O-line was still happening, Burrow came to camp not long after his appendectomy, no starters played in August. But the idea that this offense had to walk before it could run seemed overly cautious to some of us.

5. Swagger matters in the NFL. Attitude counts. It builds confidence, it scares the other guys. On Sunday, the Falcons D was scared flat-footed. Swagger is a noticeable part of Joe Burrow’s game. It’s as much a part of Chase’s game as his hands and legs. He’s better when he’s got it. They all are.

6. Dear Zac: Don’t ever take your foot off the gas again.

7. The D was good. Seven games, zero TDs allowed after halftime. That suggests good coaching, because good coaching is a lot about reacting on the fly. Lou Anarumo is becoming a very good coach, who gets less national love than. . .

8. Joe Burrow. For some reason, Burrow is Mister And. As in Patrick Mahomes, Josh Allen AND Joe Burrow. Still. Not sure why. The usual suspects: He plays in Cincinnati which is a mid-sized city in the country of America. I swear. This is a fact just now dawning on the experts in Manhattan and LA, even as Burrow made the Bowl last year, can be refreshingly candid and wears cool outfits to games. This was a point made by Joe Banner, former NFL exec now writing for the website The 33rd Team:

9. I think the 2020s is going to be the decade of Andy Reid and Patrick Mahomes. I’d be surprised if they have fewer than three or four Super Bowl titles by the end of it. Similarly, Josh Allen is just amazing to watch. A quarterback with that size, mobility and can throw the ball like he does is incredible. With that said, I don’t see how Cincinnati’s Joe Burrow isn’t in that same conversation. His coaching is as good and he’s playing behind a really weak offensive line, but he took a good team to the Super Bowl last year by beating teams that were far better on paper. Now he’s playing again with a bad offensive line and a defense that is good but not exceptional. He’s proven he’s just as talented as Mahomes and Allen, and at the moment, he’s overcoming much larger obstacles than the other two, including less talent around him on the field and inferior coaches. 

10. Take out Banner’s obvious gaffs — how can Burrow’s coaching be “as good’’ and “inferior’’ at the same time? — and that the O-line isn’t “really weak’’, Banner makes the obvious point:

Burrow’s as good as the other two. When he’s grooving the way he was Sunday, he might be a little better.

Not that it matters. No, check that, it kinda does. KC is small. Buffalo is smaller, yet Mahomes and Allen are household and Burrow is called “Borrow’’ on national TV. The national disrespect is inconsequential but annoying.

Now, then. . .

In 10 days or so, Dusty Baker will be elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame. Not technically, but if his Astros brush off the upstarts Phillies in the Series starting Friday, someone better call the engraver.

All that was missing from Baker’s resume was a ring. It’s hard to see how he won’t get one this time. Houston is 7-0 in the postseason. No club since the ‘76 Reds has swept the postseason. This one might not, either, with the Phils throwing Nola and Wheeler. But odds are good Baker’s club will be standing at the end.

Good for Dusty. No. Great for Dusty. He was the perfect guy to take over a team wrecked by scandal. No manager is better at calming waters, cultivating relationships and turning slights into motivation. Baker’s a damned good manager, not just a guy blessed with lots of good players. Even though, as ESPN.com’s Jeff Passan writes,

In seven games, Astros pitchers have held opponents to a .178/.248/.291 line -- essentially turning a pair of playoff teams' lineups into nine hitters who would be demoted to Triple-A for ineptitude. In 33 innings, Astros relievers have allowed two runs -- a 0.55 ERA -- on 14 hits and 10 walks while striking out 42.

He’s won with all kinds of rosters, in all kinds of situations. The Reds have been irrelevant since he left. Baker reminds us that his job is managing people, not numbers.

I’ll be pulling for Dusty every night. I won’t miss a pitch. Until about the bottom of the 2nd, when I go to bed.

TRIP REPORT. . . New York could be the world’s best example of the rewards of moderation. Too much of it is great at the time. But you’ll pay for that excess, sooner or later. It sure is fun eating quiche and croissants at an outdoor cafe beneath the elevated train in Bushwick. Not so fun when the check arrives and it comes to close to $100 with tip, for four people. J. Thinwallet had to be admitted to the ER after showing signs of a stroke.

But Central Park was resplendent, even as the leaves somehow had not yet turned. I’m not an Art Guy, but I love Hopper. His exhibit was wonderful. IMO, a lot of art is pure BS, sold by hucksters of limited talent, bought by chin scratchers afraid to say what they really think, for fear of being seen as sub-intelligent.

Not Hopper. You could write a short story about nearly every picture he painted. Stripped of all excess, truth on canvas. You look at the work and you can’t help but wonder, who are these people in this hotel room and at this diner? What are they doing there? How will the scene play out?

I could say the best part of the trip was seeing the kids, but that’s obvious. The best part was seeing the kids together. Who they are, the respect they have for each other, the obvious and easy pleasure they take in each other’s company.

Life’s best gifts cost nothing. Certainly not a Benjamin for coffee and pastry for four.

ME! ME! ME! I’m on this morning at 11 with Thom Brennaman. His daily talk show, Off The Bench, airs 10-noon weekdays on Chatterbox Sports.

And, puh-leeze give TML some love. Share it on social. Tell everyone you know and everyone you don’t.

TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . I guess I’m supposed to feel guilty about liking the Eagles, for the same reasons people who dislike the “art’’ of Jackson Pollock are supposed to feel stupid for saying so.

The Eagles were America’s premier cash-making band. They’re responsible in part for the ridiculous prices we pay for concert tickets. Their music could be formulaic. Liking them is like enjoying going to WalMart.

Yeah? So?

This is a tune from my favorite album of theirs. It’s OK to enjoy it.