Jillian and Ryan were married 9 years ago today. This picture is better than any photo I could run of Biden and Trump.
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Welcome to FreeForAll Thursday, where we seek joy by avoiding sports and politics and I’m sure you agree that on this day especially, that’s a helluvan idea. You never know what you’re going to get at the TML Lounge, but for 8 measly bucks a month, you can find out. Enjoy.
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I’m checking out tonight.
Maybe you intend to watch Biden and Trump. I’d rather pour acid in my retinas. It’s the most important presidential election of my lifetime. I’m marking this slice of the process by curling up fetally and sucking my thumb.
I’m sick of it all, and that’s when I’m not tired of it, which is 99 percent of the time. Debate is pointless, so why debate? Civility is dead, respect is what our grandparents practiced. You can wallow in tonight’s nonsense if you like. I’m AWOL-ing it. My sanity thanked me in advance.
If Trump wins in November, I will cease watching all news until 2029. I will read as little as possible. Ignorance might not be bliss, but it won’t be Trump, either. If Biden wins, I’ll stay tangentially current. My true preference would be to spend 2025-28 on an island near the edge of the world. Vanuatu looks nice, but I hear it’s literally drowning in climate change.
If I want to be irritated tonight, I’ll watch the Reds.
I’ve watched lots of presidential debates. Their entertainment value exceeds their ability to inform or persuade. Tonight, even the entertainment value is nil. Maybe Biden and Trump should duel. Metamucil at 10 paces.
I’m spent. Maybe you are, too.
Nothing I write or say has ever changed a mind. No minds will be changed tonight. What I’m trying to remember is that people are people and most are pretty decent, regardless of their politics. They’re certainly better people than the people they’ve elected to serve them.
I loathe Trump. You know that. I think he’s a failure of a human being. I think his boundless love of self is an existential threat to who we like to think we are. I’m confounded and amazed that anyone would be OK with Trump back in the saddle.
Biden is a shrug. As a president, he’s a .240 hitter without power. I think his party’s failure to identify and groom a decent alternative is inexcusable. I think Biden’s unwillingness to step aside is equally so.
I think a decent alternative would beat Trump easily. I think we’ll never know.
So I try not to think.
I love debates. This whole blog is one big barroom rumble, only no one gets hurt. We manage, generally, to respect each other and stay civil. Sports debates are endless and fun. I fear our current political enmity will only be endless.
I’ll debate Mays or DiMaggio all day. Beatles or Stones, the perfection of Keystone Light. Mathis or Sinatra? (Neither. Presley.)
Presidential politics? Maybe not. It’s soul-sapping.
My pal Bengal Boy holds dear one Life Thought: Only do things that bring you joy. I don’t like that thought. But I understand it. I’m inching toward its periphery.
Life is not entirely joyous. How can we appreciate pleasure without also knowing pain? Ask a cancer survivor how much keener his love for life is.
To seek total joy requires a willful ignoring of what’s going on around you. Being an engaged citizen of the world, rather than simply enjoying its gifts, requires your active participation.
But I’m starting to catch what BB’s pitching. I’m starting to have the active participation beaten out of me. Beat your head on a wall often enough, all you get is a headache.
That’s why I won’t watch the debate tonight. I’m tired of the headaches.
Now, then. . .
MAINTAINING THE ESCAPIST THEME. . .
San Luis Obispo
CNN lists its Top 10 Best American Towns to Visit. It’s a dubious list.
Duluth, MN, is great, apparently, joined by the paradise that is Grand Rapids, MI and by Macon, GA, also known as The Shangri-La of America. The country’s best town, says CNN, is Richmond, VA.
I worked in Virginia, went to college there, and I can think of five towns in the Commonwealth I’d rather visit than Richmond: Charlottesville, Roanoke, Lexington, Alexandria and Virginia Beach, and I’m just getting warmed up.
Whoever makes these lists of burgs does not visit them.
Duluth. One of America’s 10 Best Towns When Siberia is Booked
I’ll be charitable and suggest that Duluth really is fabulous on its one day of summer, and that Macon is do-able on, I think, July 18, aka No Chiggers Day. Somehow, CNN ignored Hoboken, NJ, Akron, OH, Midland, TX and Topeka, KS.
It does give good mention to San Luis Obispo, CA, and Providence, RI. SLO is a delightful town of 40,000 or so, on Cali’s Central Coast, halfway between LA and the Bay Area. It’s in the middle of the wine country not known as Napa, which makes it far less crowded, far more pleasant, with wines just as good.
When the Bengals played the Foxboro Patriots, I’d stay in Providence. Compact downtown, wonderful neighborhoods of old, historical homes, Newport just down the road, Block Island a ferry-ride away.
Other towns I’d put on my Go list: Boise, ID (trout stream running through the center of town), Boulder, CO (beauty reigns), Walnut Creek, CA, Asheville, NC, Savannah, GA, St. Augustine, FL
Towns I’ve been to that I’d avoid: Houston, Orlando, Jackson, Miss., Tulsa.
Yours, please.
BREAKING NEWS FROM REDS FANTASY WORLD, where Graham Ashcraft says it’s about to get really fun.
“I feel like I am about to kick that door down to take it over,’’ Ashcraft declared postgame Wednesday. “I mean, it's right there. I'm really close. And it's about to get really fun, that's all I gotta say."
For the sake of context, it should be noted that in 5.1 innings Wednesday, Ashcraft allowed a season-high six runs on a season-high nine hits.
Look, we can all appreciate players supporting each other and trying to keep their sanity as mate after mate heads to the IL or to some form of 0-fer oblivion.
We just don’t wanna hear it anymore.
“I feel like we've had highs and lows and I feel like we're all kind of like coming together,’’ added Tyler Stephenson. “And hopefully we can all kind of do this thing to kick the door down together. I like that.”
I think I need to lie down in a cool place. Wake me when the door-kicking starts.
AND FINALLY. . . Nine years ago today, Jillian and Ryan were married. They’d dated 10 years, so they were just about ready. There are lots of good things about this day: The stereotypes smashed, the possibilities unleashed, the happiness they shared then and now.
There’s only one Greatest Thing, though:
They’re as much in love today as they were when they made their love official.
Mr. and Mrs. Mavriplis will celebrate with dinner at a rooftop restaurant downtown. They’re already plotting The Big Number 10. If you see them tonight, say hello. They seem to have life figured out.
TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . The tune for the Father-Daughter Dance at their reception.
And I believe the light that shines on you will shine forever. . .
A .240 hitter? In what league, T-ball? Good Lord what an embarrassment.
Happy anniversary to the lovely Mr. & Mrs. Mavriplis❤️