Today’s Hemingway is Mobster Jim Boland, offering an essential message about seeing people and not looking at them. Jim offers an open invitation to take part in Project Trust. The Project aims to teach children to respect the differences in each other.
Thank you, Jim.
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A big thanks to Doc for providing the opportunity to occupy his space today. Paul Daugherty has followed a long line of sportswriters at the Enquirer (Mark Purdy and Tim Sullivan come to mind) who have eased us into many mornings over the years with tales of triumphs and defeats, human interest stories and essential news like the story of Dave Concepcion getting locked in the industrial dryer at Wrigley Field.
Over the last many years, P Doc has opened our days with his wit and wisdom and stories of his dad, children, golf, Crazy Chester and hiking in Montrea, NC, and letting us know that Dusty Baker was a fan of Van the Man.
And who hasn’t been touched by Doc’s stories about Jillian? In February he wrote about the day Jillian was born and the three mantras he and Kerry adopted the next day. “Expect, Don't Accept, Live in the Moment and See, Don't Look.”
It is a great honor to occupy his space.
See Don't Look got my attention. Paul wrote:
“It’s the most important...because it informs everything else we should be doing to make the world a better place. Seeing is active, empathetic and engaged. I see what you’re saying. Looking is passive and judgmental....Think of the human potential we’ve wasted in this country over the centuries, because we have looked at people and not seen them.”
I immediately thought of Michele, a school aged girl in suburban Cincinnati, who took her own life because she was referred to as a “fat hog” at school so often.
I’ve read Michele’s suicide letter to over 1,000 children, as part of a bullying session at Project TRUST, and this notion always wells up in me. What a waste of human life. Who might Michele have become? Michele’s classmates were looking, but not seeing.
I contacted Paul because Project TRUST actively teaches children to see, and respect. Those of us who have been involved in the program want nothing more than to have more children experience Project TRUST.
Here's how it works:
Middle school teachers are encouraged to invite the opinion leaders within clique groups (jocks, alternatives, farm kids) to attend a Project TRUST retreat. The opinion leaders are placed in family groups with students with whom they typically would not affiliate. They hang together for two and a half days. They eat meals, solve challenges, hike, sing and dance. All together. They make a fire, boil water and build a shelter. On the last day they compete against the other family groups in the Adventure Challenge.
In addition to these events that bring students together, we also engage students with the bullying and cyber-bullying issue. Throughout the experience they are mentored by caring teachers and high school counselors. The belief is that spending time together helps the students see, instead of look.
Culture change results from changing opinion leaders. We cannot take everyone to a retreat so we take the opinion leaders who then demonstrate this new respect for other clique groups when they return to school. Most schools send 40 or so students twice per year so that at any point there are over 160 students in the school who have had the Project TRUST experience.
Does it work? Research from the Search Institute says yes. The Search Institute posits that there are over 40 assets which a child might have which aid in their development. For example, “young person receives support from three or more non-parent adults” is an asset.
The more assets a child has the better he does. Children who have 30 to 40 assets exhibit more prosocial behavior than children who have few assets. Children with few assets exhibit more antisocial behavior. Project TRUST provides up to 23 of the assets, some more intensely than others, but we know that as students accrue assets they are likely to do better and when students don’t have assets, they don’t do as well. It makes sense. And my personal experience says yes.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve run into a parent of a child who attended a Project TRUST retreat who has told me how much their child loved it or how it was the best thing they've ever done.
We would love to see Project TRUST in more schools. We would love to offer more scholarships for students to attend who can’t afford it. We would love any opportunity to sit down with educators to help them begin the program in their schools.
We can do better and bridge the divide. We can learn to see people and not just look at them. All of our retreats are held at YMCA Camp Kern in Oregonia (near Lebanon). Wilmington, Clinton Massie, East Clinton, Hillsboro, Georgetown and Fayetteville schools all attend our retreats regularly. Kings and Blanchester students also participate in a version designed for younger students. And of course nothing would stop us from working with a group of employees or an athletic team looking to build a sense of community.
Some of my fondest memories come from working with Wilmington College women’s basketball and men’s soccer teams. I can be reached at jimbo45177@gmail.com or 937-218-4602 (leave a message). I can't choose between the Taylor brothers for a song which comes close to expressing the essence of Project TRUST. Take your pick or listen to Doc and live in the moment and listen to both. Here is James Taylor’s Shed A Little Light.
Thank you Jim--this Project sounds amazing!
How can we support Project Trust?