Time to re-think The Men

These aren't your father's Bengals

The new left tackle

Are you good now?

All youse cynics, you people who a week ago were ready (yet again) to throw The Family off its own bandwagon. . . your blood pressure back to acceptable levels?

I understand. Not even consecutive trips to the AFC title game are sufficient to scrub the stain of doubt from the Bengals legacy. Nothing but a Lombardi Trophy will do that. Even then, a clenched fist of skeptics will look sideways at everything The Fam does.

It took a long time to create this perma-cynicism. It’ll take an equally long time to be rid of it. But give the Bengals credit for trying. The signing of tackle Orlando Brown — four years, $31 mil bonus that’s the biggest for a tackle in league history — makes a couple things clear:

This is Joe Burrow’s franchise. He’s the sun. Everyone else is Pluto. Proven safeties? Not at the moment. Proven running backs? Assuming Mixon is out the door in June, there are none.

But the Bengals just built a better vault for their Hope Diamond. Everything else will take care of itself. That’s the thinking. Given the NFL’s obsession with QBs, who can argue?

Ownership is serious about winning biggest. Dare we say it? It could be time to re-see the Bengals. Adding Orlando Brown was surprising, if seen through yesterday’s lens. Maybe it’s time we got a new pair of glasses. These are not your father’s Bengals. We’re miles from the years when Mike Brown wanted his team to “compete.’’

Orlando Brown was the best lineman on the market. When do the Bengals ever sign a free agent who’s the Best On The Market? This signing keeps the Bengals on the credibility roll they’ve enjoyed since Zac Taylor’s arrival. It likely will mean La’el Collins is out and Jonah Williams moves to right tackle, which works on two fronts: Brown, a four-time Pro Bowler, should be better at LT than Williams was, and Williams should be as good or better (or at least more durable) than Collins was on the right side.

This isn’t to say Brown is great. He’s very good, in the mold of Ted Karras. He hasn’t missed a start in four years. Brown came here partly because the Bengals told him he’d play left tackle. The Ravens didn’t think he was good enough to play on the left side, so after three seasons as Baltimore’s RT (two Pro Bowl years), Brown departed for KC, where he did play mostly LT. And made two more Pro Bowls. He’s just 27.

Good on ya, Fam.

This is yet another reason I named Burrow Saint Joe the day The Men drafted him. Only a generational QB such as Burrow could move Mike Brown to approve of the changes that have happened since the Saint’s arrival. After five decades of wilderness wandering, Mike has his new Greg Cook.

No aspersions cast on Kenny, Boomer and Carson Palmer. But Kenny worked in different economic times, when quarterback play wasn’t everything. Boomer came in with an O-line that was already beyond solid and Carson was never going to be as good as Burrow, even if he hadn’t leveraged his way out of town.

Burrow benefits from all the above. He has a very capable line, he has the overriding talent and charisma. And he actually wants to be here.

Burrow’s role couldn’t be more important to the future of football in Cincinnati. We forget/ignore the impending lease expiration after the ‘26 season and the very real chance that if the Bengals demand the county pay what the lease requires, Hamilton County won’t be able to write the check. Then what?

Winning gives the team more leverage. What San Antonio/Austin/Portland/St. Louis/San Diego wouldn’t want a winning team with a superstar QB? Winning also gives the county more incentive to do everything it can to keep the team in town. If Burrow’s Bengals win a Super Bowl, how on earth could we let them walk?

The piper is coming and he will want to be paid.

For now, all is well in St. Joe’s world. Welcome Orlando Brown. May you be wearing big diamonds by this time next year.

Now, then. . .

AND NOW, JONAH WANTS TO BE TRADED. . . OK.

I DON’T KNOW HOW DEGENERATES DO IT. . . Yesterday, the first day a March Madness could be wagered on legally in Ohio, we spent the day degenerating at a local casino. Five hours, six iced teas, lunch and appetizers later, we waddled home. Things were going unbelievably well.

I hadn’t lost a FanDuel bet the entire first session of the tournament. Furman was lovely. When WVU pushed, Maryland pushed back. This betting racket’s a piece of cake.

Then came Charleston.

(Fie on) Charleston.

Love Pat Kelsey, always loved Pat Kelsey. Know he feels worse today than I do. But this was my money.

I promise not to mention my wagering fortunes again. It’s like talking about My Guys in fantasy baseball. No one cares. I’ll talk about this once, because it so perfectly illustrates the madness of the Madness, especially when money is involved.

I took Charleston and the 5.5 points over San Diego State. Charleston’s down four with the ball, 18 seconds left. I’m thinking, get a quick two, then foul. This will work. Even if SDS makes two throws, it’s still a 4-point game and Charleston has the ball.

Bet won!

Um, Charleston comes down court, takes a shot, misses. SDS rebounds. Charleston guys try to tie up the ball. It must have been a 5- or 6-second struggle. Bet won! Time’s gonna run out!

No.

The ref watching the extended tussle for 5-6 seconds decides to call a foul with point-7 seconds to play. SDS is in the double bonus, guy makes both free throws. SDS wins by six. I lose a buncha money. Just like that.

Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln, how was the play?

Very good, actually. Princeton did what all good little Ivy League basketball children do: Understand their limitations, accent what they do well, play like the future captains of industry they are. What was surprising was how athletic the Tigers were. Northwestern surprised me. Penn State shocked me. And Xavier wins by double digits today.

(Darrin Horn)

AS FOR NKU. . . Darrin Horn’s puncher’s-chance strategy worked in theory — we can’t match Houston’s strength and athleticism, especially near the basket, so we’ll have our shooters (Warrick and Vinson, mostly) jack up as many haymaker 3s as they can and hope beyond hope a lot of them land.

It almost worked. With 12 minutes left, the game was tied. With 4 minutes left, Houston led by just 5. But the 3s weren’t falling (5-for-33) and without that, the Norse had no chance. Great effort, though, and speaks well for the program’s future. Look at it this way: If NKU had won, Darrin Horn would be working elsewhere next season and you’d be starting all over again, again.

AND NOW. . .

Hey Michelle says let the Guinness settle, wait 60 seconds, then pour the rest

St. Paddy’s Day ~ My fave.. Get your green on and hit the Irish pub near you! I hit O’Malleys (second oldest bar in Cincy) and the bash at Molly Malone’s, Cock & Bull and go around Covington...

Heart Mini Marathon Sunday~ 7:30 am starts at Lawrence & 5th St.  There is a race for everyone 15K, 5K,1K,1.5K kids race and 5K walk   

Charity Leprechaun Chase ~ 8:30 Saturday Nisbet Park in Loveland. Teams of two use a map to find the Leprechauns and pot of gold, then solve the riddle at the end of the 5K race. Irish breakfast after. 

Unicorn World at Duke Energy ~ 9am-5:30pm Saturday, 10-5:30 Sunday Life sized unicorns, a magical forest and fun activities. 

A Chorus Line at the newly renovated Rouse Theatre at Playhouse in the Park in Mt. Adams. Showing now - April 16th  

Paula Poundstone~ Get a belly laugh Friday 8:00 at The Taft Theater 

Art in Bloom at The Barn ~ 6-8pm March 17th-19th 6980 Cambridge Ave. in Mariemont. Paintings paired with floral arrangements by the Garden Clubs of Mariemont and Terrace Park. 

Bricktionary ~ Opens at the Cincinnati Museum Center Saturday and is a ticketed event. This is a lego fanatics dream! Over 150 from the best selling book Bricktionary. Hands on activities and tons of family fun. 

Cyclones Games ~ Friday 7:30 vs. Heartlanders and Sunday 3:00 vs. Komets and there is a Justin Vaive youth jersey giveaway

Hey Michelle,

Do you want to know where to eat, drink and have fun in Cincinnati? Follow me @HeyMichelle1 on IG 
https://heymichelle-help.com

IMBIBER DAVE goes mad without barley malt or a bit o’ the brown.

What a week. March Madness is finally upon us. Northern Kentucky University nearly beat the number one seed in the tournament. Now of course Houston is a great team and they ultimately pulled off the victory. But NKU outhustled them and despite truly abysmal perimeter shooting nearly knocked off Jim Nantz’ Alma Mater.

Can you imagine? Honestly, with a two and four seed already knocked out, this tourney/league/sport proves once again that parity is the best medicine.

I’m not looking forward to UK’s game tomorrow- thank you deadlines- but let’s hope tomorrow looks something like today and by Sunday we can prepare for a sweet 16 next weekend that is worth the wait.

Bottom line, I’m pretty sure you could have caught a buzz with a glass of water tonight. So soak it in, and we’ll see how euphoric the next three days prove to be.

Cheers!
cincybeerguydave@gmail.com

TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . It’s St. Paddy’s Day, you think I’m not gonna play this guy?

A top 5 Van tune for me. I’ve always loved his mystical spiritual stuff most. It gets no more mystical/spiritual than this one. Just lovely.