Court-storming at Maryland last season. (Getty)
Top o’ the Mobster Mornin’ to you. It’s FreeForAll Monday, in which your thinwalleted-ness is rewarded with magical takes on court-storming, UC/XU blues and the overall pretense of foof-y wine and spirits critics.
Foof-y, Doc?
If you feel bad about taking advantage of my generosity, the paid version runs 5X/week and costs $8 a month or $80 a year. Thanking you in advance, I am. . .
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Look at the jackwagons in the above photo, taken after a University of Maryland basketball win last winter. Especially the a—hat hanging from the rim. Tell me what you see.
A bunch of kids having a good time, no harm, no foul?
Or a bunch of entitled halfwits posing a danger to themselves, each other and the players responsible for their joy?
There is no in-between. . .
No one sort-of runs onto a court and kind-of hangs on a rim. Or in the case of Duke star Kyle Filipowski, is sorta deliberately physically injured. Filipowski sprained an ankle in the “celebration’’ Saturday at Wake Forest, after the Demon Deacons took down the Blue Devils.
That was bad. This is worse: “I felt a bunch of hits on my body. This one was the worst of them,” Filipowski said. “I absolutely felt like it was personal. Intentional for sure.”
Maybe it was, maybe it wasn’t. The fact it’s even an issue speaks ill of the phenomenon.
Another basketball game, another on-court mobfest.
Another player injured because of it. This time it was Filipowski. Last time it was Iowa’s Caitlin Clark. Who’s next?
There will be a Next, because inconsideration is how we roll now in this country. If it feels good, do it. There might be a big difference between storming a basketball court and storming a capitol, but the thinking behind the two isn’t dissimilar. We have our rights.
Responsibilities?
Oh. Um, well. . .
It’s not the act itself that pisses me off. It’s the entitlement driving it.
I can understand immature students losing a battle with their own passions and irresponsibilities on (rare) occasion. That’s why they’re immature students. What I’ll never understand is they think what they’re doing is OK and if you don’t think likewise, well, (Fie!) off.
ESPN.com:
According to an ESPN review, there have been about three court storms a week over the past three months in college basketball.
An athletic facilities administrator at a Power 5 school, who asked to not be identified, recently told ESPN that given staff, budget and law enforcement limitations, "I subscribe to the idea that more people can be hurt, including staff, by trying to stop a storm than by trying to manage it."
There’s a simple solution. Your fans storm the court, your team forfeits the game.
The truth is, almost nobody wants that. Not the overserved, inconsiderate students, who believe it’s their right to be part of a W they had nothing to do with.
Not the school itself, which views court-storming as a marketing/recruiting bonanza. Certainly not the conference offices or the NCAA, who’d prefer to pass the buck.
Even a former university president stormed a court in January. ESPN.com:
When a slew of South Carolina fans rushed to celebrate a win against Kentucky's men's basketball team in January, former South Carolina president Harris Pastides joined them, later posting on social media: "I've paid a fine for storming the court after beating Kentucky before, but this time it was free for me so I joined the crowd!"
"I enjoyed every dollar," Pastides said later.
Wow. What a shining example of citizenship. Did I mention this guy was a university president?
Purdue star Zach Edey said, "I think it's a reason for fans to go to games. I think there's nothing wrong with it, as long as you do it safely."
Uh, no.
Slammin
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One, if you go to a game hoping to riot, you belong in a club where they still slam-dance, or at the bottom of a gator pile at the Beta House. And, “safe court-storming’’ is an oxymoron.
A little heavy-handed today, Doc.
Oh, yeah. Guilty. The older I get, the less forgiving I become of people’s inconsideration and selfishness. This is both. Your basketball ticket doesn’t include an Idiot License.
Now, then. . .
WHAT A LOUSY WEEKEND for Cincinnati hoops. UC and X both get blown out on the road. The last time I was this down on each was March 18, 2018, when they pulled off as unlikely a Charie Brown Daily Double as we’re ever likely to see.
NCAA tournament, Nashville, TN. 6:10 pm tipoff, #2 seed Cincinnati loses to #7 Nevada in the Round of 32, 75-73. Then, 8:30 on the same court, #1 seed Xavier falls to #8 Florida State, 75-70.
These days, we’d take that disaster and be grateful. UC has missed the Madness four years running, a streak that’s likely to continue. Xavier very likely will miss for the fifth time in six years and at 13-14 could suffer its first losing season in 18 years.
Xavier simply lacks talent. Sean Miller gets a bit of a pass here, given he lost four starters from last season and two key front-court returnees (Freemantle, Hunter) have not returned. Sean’s track record merits some optimism. But right now, the Musketeers can be painful to watch.
UC is a mess. The team that no-showed at TCU Saturday should give you pause. They were outscored 25-4 on fast breaks, an indication of fatigue and/or want-to. There isn’t much cohesion, even after four months of games. There is no leader on the court and on days like Saturday, no direction from anywhere.
I’m not sure what has happened to Lakhin, but a few months ago, he was a big piece of the program’s re-development. Now, he’s on the far end of the bench. Whose fault is that?
Mick Cronin (Enquirer)
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We were spoiled by the consistent success of Huggins and Mick. Those teams had an identity. Huggs and Cronin recruited to it, expected it and taught it. I don’t know what the identity is now.
Normally even-handed and effusive, radio guys Dan Hoard and Terry Nelson laid some boom on the Bearcats.
“Getting embarrassing,’’ said Hoard.
“Checked out,’’ said Nelson.
“Hard to argue,’’ thought Johnny Thinwallet.
PRETENSE, THY NAME IS rum critic. Or wine critic, bourbon critic, cigar critic or any critic who smells alcohol and declares it “floral’’.
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Herewith, a few excerpts from NY Times reviews of white (unaged) tequilas:
The spirit smells bright and beautiful, with aromas that remind me of lemon pith, underscored by moss and wet pavement.
. . . like demerara syrup drizzled over lightly steamed squash.
. . . aromas of light floral marigold, green olive brine, and cooked masa, flavors of black pepper, celery, and limestone.
. . . wet cement.
. . . notes of lime peel oil and images of soapy bubbles popping midair appearing in my mind’s eye.
Oh, shut up.
But first, let me ask you something: Have you tasted wet cement? I mean, you must have. Who does that?
Limestone?
When you order a tequila, do you request the one with hints of light, floral marigold? Or do you insist on a tequila filled with soapy bubbles, popping midair? Are you high?
TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . Did a delightful radio segment Saturday at 6, with Chick Ludwig on ‘LW. Chick’s bumper music is Go All The Way, the Raspberries greatest hit. When I hosted SportsTalk, my intro tune was the first few seconds of J Geils’ Give it To Me.
“Don’t touch the knobs, I think we’re gonna have some fun with this one.’’
That provoked memories of my brief, but brilliant, DJ career, Sunday mornings at the campus radio station. I ended every show with this Raspberries tune. Helluva band, criminally underrated.
College basketball is different now with portal.
Xavier has 10 new players and only one player who was a minor part of last's year's team. You are never really sure what you get in the portal (and with Xavier's 3 international players). It makes for an interesting drama to follow. The important thing is who is leading the process. Good for Xavier that Sean Miller is running the organization. He knows how to run a program - recruiting, developing, coaching, NIL recruiting, media relations, etc.
The results will show over the years. Yes, this year will end with disappoint. However, I see Xavier in the nation's top teams consistently over the next 10 years.
I first thought, "Hey Doc, are you really equating court storming with Jan 6th?" And then I thought to myself "they are both hard-to-imagine conflagrations". The difference is, court storming has no punishment while Jan 6th resulted in a search and destroy overcharging of tangentially involved people. Do many involved in Jan 6th deserve prison? Of course! But there are people languishing in subterranean DC prisons for over 3 years who have been deprived of their rights to a reasonably speedy trial, spending far too much time in solitary confinement. Ultimately that's a sketchy comparison, thrown into your article gratuitously.