Ten Things, Post-Mortem Edition

The Men suffer for Taylor's play calling

You don’t know how Zac Taylor and his staff drew up that double-reverse pass at the Baltimore 2-yard line in the 3rd quarter Sunday night, but I do. I was a fly on the meeting-room wall at PayJoe Stadium last Tuesday afternoon. I literally hung around on the lip of Brian Callahan’s Starbuck’s cup.

(The offensive coordinator loves the Grande Caffe Mocha, Iced with an extra pump of Cinnamon Dolce. Especially this time of year.)

Taylor, the former quarterback, got his guys huddled up around the conference table, where an office underling had dutifully left a large pile of dirt. Taylor bent to one knee and started drawing. He said these exact words:

“OK, here’s what we’re gonna do. Billy, you hike it to me. I give it to Timmy who gives it to Jimmy who throws it to Zimmy. On two.’’ The pile of dirt resembled a fine example of post-modern impressionism that originated in France in the late 1800s.

The problem arose when the dirt-pile masterpiece played more like subway graffiti.

The Bengals lost in Baltimore for a few reasons. Their defense was very good, until it wasn’t. They shackled Lamar Jackson for about 58 minutes. He’s a 60-minute man. Tee Higgins was hurt and played almost not at all. They sure could have used him across the middle, underneath those deep, soft zones. They couldn’t cover Mark Andrews, either.

But this one was on Taylor.

2nd-down and goal at the Ravens 2. Burrow-to-Chase-to-Boyd. Razzle-fizzle. Twelve-yard sack. Taylor followed that bumble by ordering a shovel pass into the teeth of Baltimore’s defense. No chance.

Fifteen plays, eight minutes. No change in what remained a 13-10 Ravens lead.

Inexcusable.

They had Mixon finding a groove for the first time since the opener. And Hayden Hurst, playing possessed against the team that drafted him. Ja’Marr Chase, who was Ja’Marr Chase, even as B-more did a nice job on him. Et cetera.

You have those weapons in that duel, and you challenge the other guys to a game of musical chairs. “We took a sack on a specialty play. Then just didn’t quite get it how we wanted to on the shovel play’’ was Taylor’s explanation.

Frequent Perusers of This Space know of TML’s reluctance to 2nd-guess coaches and managers. It’s too knee-jerk easy to do. Decisions aren’t always bad if the thinking that went into them was good. Even if the decisions don’t work.

But those calls. . .

It’s time, yeah? Time for Taylor to be the CEO he was hired to be. The average NFL game is a blur, when you ponder all the moving parts, play after play. P&G doesn’t ask its corner-office guys to micro-manage. The high-school principal isn’t teaching mortise joints to freshmen in shop class.

There’s simply too much going on. Effective management doesn’t require small-picture analysis. The best CEOs hire good people and let them work. Is B. Callahan good people? The Bengals need to find out.

This isn’t about last night. Last night was just the most recent scribble in the conference-room dirt. It’s time for all to acknowledge the offense is underachieving and the head coach’s curious decision-making isn’t part of the fix.

Now, then, without further ado. . .

TEN THINGS FROM 17-19 IN BALTIMORE. . .

1. Can you say “blueprint’’ boys and girls? The NFL being its copycat self, every Bengals opponent now will play deep, soft zones and force Burrow & Co. to play dinkball down the field. Not every team will have Marcus Peters and Marlon Humphrey at the corners, sure. But they will see what the Ravens did and look to do the same.

2. Even Burrow, the picture of subtle cockiness, said this: “There’s just nothing down the field if teams are going to play us like they did today.” That’s a remarkable statement from a guy with Burrow’s we-take-what-we-want mentality. Last night, Burrow averaged 3.4 “air yards’’ per throw. That’s a measure of how far a pass travels, independent of yards after the catch. In other words, Saint Joe and friends spent most of the night perfecting the horizontal passing game.

3. Statistically, the Ravens came into the game as one of the league’s worst pass defenses. ESPN.com: Entering Sunday night, Baltimore allowed 30 completions of 11 air yards or more, according to research by ESPN Stats & Information, tied for the most in the NFL.

4. Lamar Jackson wasn’t even that great. He twice overthrew receivers who were open deep. Tylan Wallace could have hop-scotched into the end zone. Plus, he threw a mood-changing pick to Vonn Bell in the 2nd quarter, Ravens ahead 10-0 and dominating.

4A. Not sure how tight end Mark Andrews was so open on his TD catch, given B-more’s lack of big-time receivers. As good as Lamar is, even he needs some studs to throw the ball to. That gaping hole at wideout makes his production even more impressive.

5. Ironically, John Harbaugh would have been roasted in Maryland last night, had the Ravens not won. Harbaugh made a tough decision with 9:46 remaining and holding a three-point lead, while facing a fourth-and-one at the Cincinnati 3. The Ravens tried to draw the Bengals offsides before calling on Tucker to kick a 25-yard field goal.

6. Quarterbacks you don’t want to see when you’re leading by a point with two minutes to play: Brady, Mahomes, Burrow, Allen and. . . Jackson. As OK as he was for 58 minutes, Jackson triumphed at winning time: Four runs for 31 yards, two completions to Andrews. Fifty yards in seven must-have plays.

7. Another TML Out There Opinion, to go with No Punting and making opponents return kickoffs:

   Let the other guys score. Trade points for time, when points are all but obvious.

   Intentionally or not, that’s what the Ravens did. The Bengals took a 17-16 lead, but left the Ravens with 1:58 on the clock and Tucker’s leg still warm. I’d have bet your house on what eventually occurred.

8. All things considered. . . the AFC North isn’t good, so 2-3 isn’t bad. The Bengals aren’t in bad shape. They’ve lost three games on last-minute FGs. The NFL as discussed here ad nauseam, is a week-to-week proposition. This week’s fingerpaint is next week’s Van Gogh.

9. And Joe Mixon had 78 yards on 14 totes, running like 2021.

10. Dunno what was La’el Collins’ deal on the sideline with Taylor last night, but the man has not done good work at right tackle so far this year, last night included.

RAGGEDY ANDY could be the Saints QB next Sunday, when Nawlins hosts The Men. Dalton has started the last two games and won one of them. He has carved out a nice late career as a caretaker guy. He’s doing essentially what he did here: Play steady, careful, unspectacular ball, let the other guys win games. Sunday v. Seattle, it was Taysom Hill, the poor man’s Lamar, who ran for 3 TDs and threw for another.

If Jameis Winston can’t play, the Bengals get yet another break on defense: Trubisky, Rush, Flacco and Dalton.

ONCE A BAD GUY. . . The Yankees left Aroldis Chapman off their postseason roster after Chappy blew off a mandatory workout last week.

Erstwhile great pitcher, Chapman has lost a few mph off his fastball. His prima dona-ness is as sharp as ever. I still recall one year at Redsfest, when he told the Enquirer he was a closer and would not start. This was at a time when the Reds bullpen options were decent, but they really needed another starter.

And we’re not even talking about Chappy’s off-field shenanigans.

“THIS IS NEVER PLEASANT AND IT’S NEVER PERSONAL. . .’’ That’s how a writer for The Athletic began a story this AM about the DC Commanders coach Ron Rivera. The author wrote it’s time for Rivera to go.

It’s never personal, though.

Well, of course it is. You’re talking about the man’s career.

I used to write the same line, when it came to passing judgment on coaches. Then Dave Shula told me, years after Mike Brown mercy-fired him, that every time I took a shot at Dave, his kids got teased at school.

Yes, it is personal. I still try to keep that in mind when writing about people around here.

TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . Pickin’ up the pieces after 17-19, if not quite grinnin’.