Ten Things: Can't Shake Jake

Bengals January just got a lot more interesting

Welcome to FreeForAll Tuesday, a rare chance for unpaid Mobsters to read the week’s most popular post, the Ten Things wrap of the Bengals most recent effort. Enjoy. While enjoying, maybe you know someone (relative, friend, ex-convict) who’d enjoy a paid subscription to The Morning Line. At least five newsletters a week and open dialog with yours truly. Wall-to-wall Cincy sports and other stuff, for your favorite expatriate. Not a bad deal for $8 a month. Even better at $80/year. Much gratitude to all of youse, regardless.

Bengal Jake (Stripehype.com)

He rode in from the West, land of big dreams, with big-boy numbers, first in high school, where he won a California state title, and then in college at the U. of Washington, where he made 53 starts in four years and became the Huskies’ all-time passing leader. Better, even, than Sonny Sixkiller. Look ‘im up.

His legend spread far and wide. Actually, he went undrafted in 2019, NFL talent experts judging him not as capable as Kyler Murray, Daniel Jones and Dwayne Haskins, 1st-rounders all. What do they teach those NFL talent evaluators in Talent Evaluation School, anyway?

The Minnesota Vikings signed him to back up Kirk Cousins and whoever was backing up Cousins at the time. He was the finest practice squad quarterback in the land.

You can’t prove that, Doc.

You can’t prove that he wasn’t.

Viking Jake

When Minnesota tossed him to the curb after two seasons of stellar practice-squad work, the Bengals took him in, gave him a home, He continued to add to his legend last summer, fighting off a fierce challenge from Trevor Siemian, himself a backup-QB god. In the heated frenzy of August competition, he also outdueled Reid Stinnett. The world took notice.

The Bengals had bigger plans for him. He’d be their No. 2 QB, behind Joe Burrow who, it was generally conceded, better not get hurt or the season would be over.

Only Joe Burrow did get hurt. The man from the West rode in, white hat shining in the sun, and promptly dominated the vaunted Pittsburgh Steelers defense.

Actually, Doc, he was really good at throwing sideways passes. The Bengals lost that game, 16-10.

They called him Jake. Jake Browning.

Husky Jake

Defenses feared him, other backups revered him. He was the next Bailey Zappe. His potential stretched from A to B.

The Bengals gave him a chance. All he needed, the experts agreed. They coached him up last week, they vowed their team would actually be interested in playing football Monday. Jake Browning put on the white hat (OK, helmet) and played like Joe Burrow’s best day.

And that is how we arrived last night, in the 4th quarter in Jacksonville, at the matchup we’d all been waiting for:

Jake Browning-v-C.J. Beathard.

Only in America. Land of opportunity.

But seriously, folks. . .

Jake Browning — man, myth, legend — was impeccable in the footlights last night. His performance was no fluke. He may yet go down as Zappe II. Until then, he is a completely competent starting NFL QB, who breathed life into a dying man. The 6-6 Bengals are a game out of a wild card spot as the teams they’re chasing compete to see how bad they can be.

Do you think Joe Flacco, right now, is better than Jake Browning?

How ‘bout Mitch Trubisky, Kenny Pickett or Gardner Minshew?

As I mentioned in This Space Monday, the Bengals might rue the effort they offered v. Pittsburgh a week ago Sunday. Seven-and-five is a whole lot better than 6-6.

Howevuh. . .

Four of the Bengals remaining five are highly winnable, starting Sunday at home against the Indy Minshews. Then it’s Minnesota (Josh Dobbs, ugh) here, at Pittsburgh, at KC and home against the Browns.

Four-and-1 is hardly impossible and 4-1 makes them 10-7 which should put them in the playoff mix. . .

. . . and make Joe Burrow wonder about his future as a starting quarterback.

That was a joke, son.

Without further ado:

TEN THINGS ABOUT BENGALS-JAGS

The Bengals (1) played like the desperate team they are. Unlike last Sunday, when they played like they were feeling sorry for themselves. Amazing what a mindset can mean to a football team.

I’m sorry, but you cannot tell me that (2) it all owes to Browning having another week of prep. He had 10 days after the Thursday night L to the Ravens. He’d been here since 2021. The offense was not unfamiliar to him. It had more to do with the plays he was given to execute. Zac Taylor allowed Pittsburgh to dictate the terms of that game.

(3) As long as we’re bashing the coach. . . that 3rd-quarter Tyler Boyd INT was inexplicably awful. Straight outta 1994. Nobody I’m aware of was demanding a cameo borrowed from the Lost Decade. The game was tied, Browning was On It. Trickeration was the last thing required. Bad.

That said, Monday’s plan of attack was (4) sublime. Creative, aggressive (going for it on 4th-and-3 on their 1st possession) and trusting of the QB asked to carry it out.

(5) Browning was as good as the plan. He was 32-for-37, including drops by Boyd and Ja’Marr Chase, completing his first 10 throws, throwing from all arm angles, throwing on the run, throwing a 76-yard bomb to Chase when he saw the Jaguars in man coverage, not forcing anything, throwing to eight different receivers by halftime, leading a 92-yard drive, not throwing a pick, in general playing like a 5-year vet.

It helped that the running game (6) was an actual participant. The coaching staff was good at realizing that Chase Brown really was on their team. Mixon ran with authority, scoring twice. Against a top-5 run defense, the Bengals put up 156 yards and averaged five yards a pop. All of which made life better for the QB.

Evan McPherson continues to (7) shorten the field for an inconsistent offense. He made the winning 48-yard FG, nailed one from 54 and saw a 57-yarder bounce off the crossbar.

What an advantage it is, knowing all you have to do is get to the other guys’ 40-yard line for a realistic FG try.

Ja’Marr Chase (8) has the sure hands of A.J. Green and the toughness of T.J. Houshmandzadeh. He’s Chad with all the body control and none of the antics.

Am I the only one who (9) does not enjoy the Manning Bros. broadcast of the games? Great concept, well executed. Peyton is naturally funny. That skit on SNL, in which he berated a bunch of young kids trying to play the game, was classic. He’s smart, has great timing and can seem genuinely self deprecating, a tough act for a star jock.

But I just don’t like hearing a Tua interview when I’m trying to watch the game, yeah?

Finally, (10) can Jake do it again, or was Monday night simply his Bailey Zappe Moment? Never forget: (11) “It’s the NFL, man’’ is the way to make rational every irrational NFL moment.

Now, then. . .

HERE’S A THOUGHT: If Florida State feels so scorned, why don’t the Seminoles do what UCF did several years back: Just declare themselves national champions.

It’d be solid PR, to bill their Orange Bowl matchup with also-scorned Georgia as the de facto national title game. Of course, they’d have to win the game, so. . .

At least it’d be worth a try.

UPON FURTHER REFLECTION. . . FSU still doesn’t belong in the Final 4.

I was remiss in not noting yesterday that the ACC fought very hard not to implement the 12-team playoff this year. And won. The ACC was hissed at the aggressive moves of the SEC, Big 10 and Big 12 to poach schools from other leagues, so it decided to be Against whatever those leagues were For. Cut off nose, spite face.

Not smart. And the Seminoles don’t want to be in the ACC, anyway. Meantime,

From the Athletic:

Over 1,000 college football players entered the transfer portal yesterday, shattering last year’s one-day record of 775. That's equivalent to 40 recruiting classes and, if you zoom out, about 7 percent of all D1 football players.

The market is flooded with good quarterbacks. Washington State’s Cameron Ward, Ohio State’s Kyle McCord and Oklahoma’s Dillon Gabriel are the top names.

I’m all for freedom of movement in the workplace. I’m on board with getting what you can get. Let capitalism ring.

I just wonder if it’s what’s best for the players in the long run. Most won’t sniff an NFL contract. All are bottom-line mercenaries. The only practical education they’re getting is how to load up a moving van.

After you’ve played at four schools in five years and the pros say no to you, what have you got? A degree? A keen sense of working the system (or being worked)? It’s never good, in life or sports, when the only interests you serve are your own.

It’s the difference between owning the same home for 30 years and renting your whole life.

Four or five years, no degree, no binding ties to teammates, classmates or the school. Just a thick wallet, if you’re lucky. That won’t last very long.

TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . I’ve always thought George had the best solo career of any Beatle, and it wasn’t even close. I could have contracted diabetes from listening to Paul’s solo stuff. John had his moments, but not when Yoko was near. And Ringo, well, Ringo was Ringo.

George was the best. And I absolutely adore this tune. Makes me happy just to hear it.