One Sideways Pass at a Time

Bengals offense strives for patience as Burrow heals on the fly

“Patient Bengals offense’’ is a Hall of Fame oxymoron. Joe Burrow & Friends don’t come into your town with their six-shooters tucked in their waistbands, slink into your saloon, ask for a sarsaparilla and say, “Thank you.’’

Sarsaparilla, Doc?

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They come in like the James Gang, label you a varmint, shoot holes in your ceiling and demand the whole fifth of firewater. This is what they do. This is who they are.

And we expect them to be patient? Make those nifty little horizontal throws? Take what the dee-fense gives them?

Consider Week 4 in Tennessee as another experiment in re-invention. Unless and until Joe’s Golden Calf returns to quasi-normalcy, we can expect the Bengals to roll on bald tires, a governor attached to their engine. They might win a lawnmower race, but not a shootout with Miami.