Hemingway Jay Rubs Famous Shoulders

At the Big Bowl, nothing exceeds like excess

Jay Brinker tells you today why I’m glad I don’t cover the Super Bowl anymore. The Game! is like The Week! is like the NFL! itself. Sometime many years back, the Hype Machine assumed complete control. At that point, the game ceased being a game, but rather a weeklong play-date for (mostly) rich people and their legions of wannabes. Getting a VIP invite to the Sports Illustrated party meant you were someone.

Yuck.

I knew I was done with the Bowl when strangers in my hotel lobby began offering me $100 for the card key to my room. This was because the lobby at the media hotel had become Be Seen Central, and the ultimate Be Seen Moment was a ride up the elevator standing shoulder to shoulder with some minor celeb. To do that, you needed to show your room keycard to the security guy guarding the bank of elevators.

Gag me with a selfie.

Anyway, Jay winters in Scottsdale and so had a first-person look at the Super frivolity. I’ll leave youse to decide what you think of it all.

Nothing exceeds excess, yeah? Take it away, Jay. . .

2/17/2023 - The Valley of the Sun Line

Good morning from the center of the sports world last week. Phoenix just finished hosting Super Bowl LVII and the WM Phoenix Open.  It is also now the home of Kevin Durant - the best 34 year old hoops player with a repaired Achilles tendon.  

I suggested to Doc that I could share with you some of the Super Bowl and WM Open activities from last week.  Peter King had a “meh” take on Phoenix as a host city for the Super Bowl, but that is because he prefers walkability.  Phoenix is anything but walkable, being a post-WWII car-oriented city.  My take is that the spread out nature of Phoenix makes it the best city in the U.S. at hosting major events.  So, to quote Tempe’s best band, “if you don’t expect too much from me, you might not be let down.”  

Super Bowl Hosting.  The NFL, being the behemoth that it is, does not just graciously give the Super Bowl to host cities.  The host cities have to promise to raise funds to offset the cost of the events and general hosting.  Phoenix raised nearly $50 million, some from local municipalities such as $3 million from Glendale (which does not make expect to recoup the expense from the game, but hopes positive exposure leads to future growth) and $10 million from the state, and the rest from corporate donors.  Why should an enterprise comprised of billionaires and with the most watched television program of the year not expect others to pay for the marketing and hosting of its event?  How else can the rich get richer?

Super Bowl Events.    What does the $50 million hosting budget provide?  Music.  Lots of music.  And parties.  

Janice, Blair, and I saw the Gin Blossoms with Jimmy Eat World for free at a downtown park.  For the record, “Hey Jealousy” is one of my all time favorite songs due to its tragically poignant lyrics.  Jimmy Eat World was apparently the bigger draw, but if I spot you “The Middle” I bet you cannot name another song of theirs.  Lee Brice and Major Lazer Sound System also played there later.

OK with your chances in an over subscribed venue?  Sirius XM sponsored a free Luke Combs concert with limited seating but gave away more tickets than seats.  First come, first seated. Late arrivals turned away.

Mind on his money.

Prefer to spend money?  Take your pick from the Dave Matthews Band, Paramore, Imagine Dragons, Tim McGraw and Snoop Dogg.

Know someone?   Drake played an invitation-only event at a hangar at the Scottsdale Airport.  Dave Grohl played a similar event downtown.

Want to hang with celebrities?  Gronk lent his name to a party at a casino.  Tickets were $300 to see Lil John and Diplo.   If you prefer NBA retired celebs over NFL retirees, Diplo played with Snoop at Shaq’s Fun House the night before for $350.   The cover of darkness might have been worth the extra $50.

OK with overserved performers with their second show?  Chainsmokers (with the newly single Machine Gun Kelly) played a second concert for Sports Illustrated on Saturday after showing up buzzed (per my daughter) for their earlier 9:00 show at the WM Phoenix Open Bird’s Nest venue. $799 to get in after the Gronk crowd left.  

Super Bowl Breakfast.  Janice and I were fortunate to be invited to the Super Bowl Breakfast the day before the game by our friend, Ron Beshear.  The event is sponsored by Athletes in Action.  The focus of the event was to award Kirk Cousins the Bart Starr Award for his “outstanding character and leadership at home, on the field, and in the community.“  The award was presented by Tony Dungy while the Manning brothers sent in a typically humorous congratulatory video tribute.

Anthony Munoz was the second recipient ever of the award and was on stage to speak for a few minutes.  He remains the greatest Bengal ever.  

Who remembers Brad Cousino?  Two time MAC defensive player of the year for Miami during Miami’s Mallory coached hey day.  Those teams also produced NFL players Sherman Smith and Rob Carpenter.  Cousino was a 185 pound,  5’11” nose guard who went undrafted in a 17 round draft.  Paul Brown called him and said if he could get his weight up to 218 he would be welcome at training camp.  Cousino added the weight and played special teams for the 11-3 Bengals in 1975 before moving on to the Giants and Steelers.  It was odd standing next to a former nose guard and being the same height (and only a few pounds lighter).  Cousino is promoting his book “Unwanted, Unworthy, Unshackled” and pickleball as a means of healthy living.

Also in the random encounters category, we sat with John Wright, a former NFL WR who was a 2^nd round draft pick of the Lions in 1968.  At one time, he was the career receiving leader for Illinois.  After he suffered a career ending knee injury, he was replaced by Chuck Hughes.  If you know the history, Hughes is the only NFL player to die on the field.  During a Lions-Bears game in 1971, Hughes suffered a massive attack and dropped dead.  The final minute of the game was played.  I repeat this story only for those who listened to the TV announcers who said “we have never seen this before” when Damar Hamlin was unconscious on the field.  Yes, those of us over 50 with a memory had seen it before and were aware of a tragic moment in NFL history, albeit one before the Internet and social media.

Enough Super Bowl?  Let’s discuss golf. 

16th hole at the Waste Management All Day Cocktail Hour

WM Phoenix Open.  The golf tournament is known as the People’s Open.  It has been aptly described as a party with a golf tournament in the background.  Unlike other tournaments, when the marshalls hold up their “Quiet Please” signs, there is always a dull roar in the background as there should be at all tournaments.  If baseball players have to hit a 100 mph pitch with a crowd roar and hoops players have to shoot free throws with fans yelling and waving items of distraction, why do golfers need total silence to strike a stationary ball (and the same question applies to tennis players serving a ball they control the tossing of).

The tournament holds the record for the largest attendance.  2018 was the last year figures were announced.  Total attendance was 717K for four days and 200K+ for the third round.  This year general admission was sold out for the Friday and Saturday rounds.  I guess that 200,00 were present both days.  For reference, the serene and civilized Masters draws 160K total for four days. 

The 16^th Hole is the epicenter of zaniness.  The “Coliseum” seats 22,000 people, many in suites but some in general admission seats.  Fans arrive in line at 2:30 a.m., gain admission at 7:00 a.m.,then sprint to the seats even though the first group does not arrive until noon.  After play was delayed for 30 minutes last year because of the beer cans thrown by the “reprobates” in the general admission seats after Sam Ryder’s hole in one, officials tried to minimize further delays and possible injuries.  This year, beer was sold in plastic cups instead of cans.  Of course, the unintended consequence of plastic cups is that fans now create “beer snakes” with their empty cups by stacking them as high as possible.

We were in line to enter the general admission seats on the 16^th when we heard a ruckus.  Loud, but not the deafening loud of a hole in one.  A minute later, a guy came sprinting through the tunnel under the stands between the 16^th green and the 17^th tee.  He was wearing a Speedo with the words “19^th Hole” written on his back and pointing to his ____.  A few security personal were chasing him and several Scottsdale police officers joined the chase, with one of them falling down as he lost his balance as scripted in a movie with a police chase.  The “streaker” ran 350 yards down the 17^th fairway before doing a perfect belly flop into the greenside water.  Apparently, he swam out to the WM letters in the pond before he was eventually arrested.  Incredibly, the video was posted on line within 10 minutes while we were still in line.  Three videos needed to capture the entire folly.  The security personnel on 16 who watched the guy pole dance and strut around the green were as decisive as Biden Administration officials on a Chinese spy balloon flying across the country. 

Music is also a big part of the tournament experience.  There is now a concert the Saturday before the tournament in the stands at the 16^th Hole.  Last year it was Old Dominion and Thomas Rhett.  This year it was Maroon 5 with Walker Hayes.  Attendees were given bracelets with a face the size of an Apple Watch.   The face would light up and change colors based on controls sent it to it.  Of course, this being the 16^th Hole, even a week early, people started throwing the lights onto the green.    

Jason Aldean, Chain Smokers, and Machine Gun Kelly played after the first three rounds at an after tourney event, the aforementioned Birds Nest.  

Kelce Brothers.  After last Sunday’s Super Bowl, what is the attitude towards Travis and Jason Kelce?  I have maintained for several years that Travis is the greatest football Bearcat of all time.  A first ballot Hall of Famer and best tight end ever.  I have struggled with who is the second greatest Bearcat.  It might be Travis’ brother, Jason, but Derek Wolfe and Connor Barwin are in the range of possibilities.  Sam Farmer of the LA Times affirmed my thoughts when he declared that the Kelce brothers are both first ballot HOFers.   Do you have someone else on your list?  Is Farmer wrong?   Pre-Rick Minter, I could essentially count the number of UC grads who played in the NFL on two hands.  Now they are too numerous to mention.

Tony Dungy.   Watching Tony Dungy at the Super Bowl Breakfast on Saturday, I was impressed by his demeanor and presence.  Such a good man.  Is there anyone in the NFL more revered, and deservedly so, than Dungy?  I saw a man who has lived 17 years since his son committed suicide, a man, who counseled Michael Vick and assisted his return to the NFL, a man who won a Super Bowl after being unjustly fired by Tampa Bay, and a man about whom I have never heard a bad word spoken.  If there is someone more deserving of reverence because of his actions and accomplishments, I do not know who it is.

Song of the Day.  I never heard this guy before last week’s Grammy performance, but I really enjoyed it.  Luke Combs has the bearded, paunchy look of Chris Stapleton.  Wish I had heard “Out Runnin’ Your Memory” before.

Thanks to Doc for allowing me to sit in.  Thanks for reading.  Hope I did not let you down.  

AND NOW. . .

Hey Michelle will make your weekend so exhaustingly fun, you’ll pray for Monday morning.

Mittenfest ~ Washington Park 18 & 19th 11-5. This is a ticket event for $25 , featuring craft, beers, food trucks, and much more. This is a great time to get some fresh air and enjoy the outdoors. Washington Park has some cool yarn art all around the bar area check it out! 21 and up 

Ben Levin live music Hilton! ~ Ben is the best old soul sound out of a young guy ever!!  Also, who doesn’t like some live great music inside the Hilton at the historical Orchids Bar!? 

Mardi Gras Parade ~ MainStrasse in Covington join in the fun! Starting on 6th & Main Saturday at 7:00 followed by a Covington Pub Crawl. 

International holocaust remembrance day ~ the speaker for Sunday is a sold out event but I highly encourage if you have not visited the Holocaust Museum inside the Cincinnati Museum Center this is something you absolutely should do.

Find Jazz at Caffé Vivace ~ Great spot for some jazz! Saturday Set 1: 7:00 pm - 8:15 pm | Set 2: 9:00 pm - 10:15 pm - Sold Separately…Jeff Coffin, Viktor Krauss, Jordan Perlson w/ Leo Genovese as part of the Winter Jazz Series. 975 E. McMillan 

Penguin Parade at the Cincinnati Zoo ~ every Friday, Saturday, Sunday and holiday Mondays at 11 and 2:30…it’s adorable! 

Fat Tuesday at the Hofbrauhaus in Covington ~ Tuesday the 21st go eat and drink like there’s no tomorrow ! 5-9pm live music, jambalaya, gumbo and beignets! 

Free workout, free coffee at Cartridge Brewery ~ 10 o’clock on Saturday ! 

Hey Michelle,
Do you want to know where to eat, drink and have fun in Cincinnati? Follow me @HeyMichelle1 on IG 

https://heymichelle-help.com

Imbiber Dave channels his Inner Roger Ebert. . .

Got to check out a great new bar this week. I mean cinema. Wait, it’s a bar with a cinema in the back. RJ Cinema Distillery & Taproom is all of those things wrapped into one. A fully functional distillery, taproom, and restaurant, with plenty of seating and all the ambiance of a small sports bar or micro brewery.

I really enjoyed heading out to see a movie and sitting down at a proper bar to sample a RJ signature cocktail. Robert James distillery is located in Norwood, and you can sample their products around town, but now the best place is alongside an oversized popcorn and movie.

I’ve tried the bourbon and the rye, and both were very tasty. They also make several flavored vodkas which are on my list for the spring.

The plan for next time is obvious. Go see a movie in the afternoon, step out for a few more beverages and dinner at the bar, and then watch a second movie to round out your evening.

Cheers!
cincybeerguydave@gmail.com

TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . Back in Real World, where it isn’t 75 and sunny and “life is (not) just a cocktail party on the street.’’ (Name the tune belonging to those lyrics, win fabulous TML prizes chosen just for you.)

This is a really nice tune to play at sunset, with the sun setting into the Gulf of Mexico like an over-easy egg off a plate.

Longboat Key, 3 nights ago. (Me)