[COPY] Constructing Christmas

Is a lifetime endeavor

Merry Christmas, or whatever holiday you choose to celebrate. We can be sensitive to all traditions, beliefs and cultures without slighting our own. So, from me to you, Merry Christmas. No offense.

I am a Clark-Griswold-in-the-attic-watching-home-movies kinda guy, even as I try to hide that pitiable fact. I try not to assume family and friends on this day, or underestimate what it would be like if I woke up December 25 with neither. To all who find themselves alone today, a hug from afar. If I knew you, I’d surely welcome you into our lucky home.

Here’s what you’d find right now, 9:05 AM, Christmas morning, at our house:

Two adults, a dog and a cat. A fake tree that is far, far greater than it sounds. I mean, you take it out of its box, already decorated with lights. You put it up where you want. When you’re done, you take it down and put it back in the box. There is an economy of motion to this, which frees up time to do other things, like shop for useless stuff.

Anyway, silence here. One child is at his in-laws. The other is at her in-laws. OGs understand this melancholy slice of real life. We raise our children to leave us. We shouldn’t be surprised when they do. But the quiet reminds us, every year.

Christmas is about building and then, at a certain point, admiring what we’ve built. As soon as our kids are born, we start pouring the foundation. It’s only as durable as the foundation our parents and extended families laid for us, so very long ago.

Kerry’s family was and is, for the most part, an extended and joyous romp. My family can be an Oprah! show. Kerry spent lots of time with aunts and uncles and cousins. I barely knew mine. Both situations can be instructive. From Kerry’s family, I have learned to be less cynical regarding the importance of binding ties. She grew up in a real-life Leave it to Beaver episode. When we arrived in Cincinnati, we moved into a house off Wards Corner Road. Perfect.

Her family cocoon was well constructed. So, now, is ours. That is Kerry’s doing. Kelly and Jillian and their spouses will be over this afternoon.

From my family I have learned that being attentive is not as important as being reliable. We’re scattered, but constant, if that makes sense. In our own way, we’re as sturdy as Ward and June.

We have invested in Christmas. Not from a Stuff sense. (We’ve been over that in This Space. Stuff is egregious.) Rather, we have tried to make it clear that Christmas is family and family is evergreen. Christmas is simply a grander way to express that basic notion. To say that every day is Christmas might be unbearably sticky-sweet, but it’s a sticky-sweetness worthy of our aspirations.

My best hope for you is that today, you can relate.