Can the Reds Keep it Up?

Anybody here seen my old friend Bobby?

Some men see things as they are, and say why. I dream of things that never were, and say why not. — Robert Kennedy

LIKE, YEAH, BRO, FAR OUT AND STUFF. . . I tried not to write yet again about the Cincinnati Reds because, well, riding the Beast of a baseball season game by game is exhausting and ultimately pointless. Plus, in Page View World, one paragraph about Joe Burrow trumps a week’s worth of Reds narratives. I try to write to eyeballs.

But, man.

Or, as Ricky Karcher would put it, “Holy (spit).’’

Karcher is what MLB would be if MLB were Bull Durham. Good ol’ Number 74. Karcher must have taken (Nuke) LaLoosh lessons. Or maybe it was the other way around. Either way, Curt Casali is most definitely Crash Davis.

Karcher closed out the lousy Royals last night, even as his fastball was allergic to the strike zone. It has always been thus, which explains why Karcher’s major league run likely will be cameo-esque. That makes his story and his genuine gratitude so very pleasant. Postgame from Nuke:

“I did have a moment, like, when I thought that I might go in that I, like, started to get a little bit emotional and stuff, which I thought was cool because that doesn’t happen to me a whole lot. But I’ve worked my whole life for this day. It’s awesome.”

Karcher’s another Google Guy. From Fernando Cruz to Casey Legumina to Levi Stoudt to TJ Hopkins to Henry Ramos. The Club has had so many guys Average Fan has never heard of. And yet. . .

The Reds are touched, it seems, for the moment, by the moment and in the moment. The karma winds have shifted for them, maybe in response to the years of mostly misery. Who knows how long it’ll last, how many more days before Run-DLC’s feet find the ground and Ricky Karcher stops winning by throwing head-high heat.

No need to question it, really. Just go with it. Say Why Not.

The Reds don’t do anything remarkably well. They’re a whole team of ballplayers emerging from the corn. They’re also just 3.5 games out of 1st place and have the NL Central’s best record for close to a month.

Why not?

You’re telling me Pittsburgh’s gonna win this division?

The Cardinals can’t get outta their own way. Milwaukee could be legit once the Brewers get healthy. But you’d have to squint like Clint Eastwood to see the Crew as an overwhelming favorite.

Some men see things as they are. . .

Could a team win a division just because it. . . tries hard?

Is there a metric that measures perseverance?

That’s simplistic, sure. They have an ace closer, an underappreciated 2B skilled enough to bat 1st and 3rd and, yes, a manager whose demeanor has clicked with this clubhouse of kids.

Icarus

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But if we were to look objectively at the sum total of this roster, we wouldn’t see .500 with the Hubble telescope. Just because we’re waiting for Icarus’ wings to melt doesn’t mean it’s going to happen.

Dream of things and say why not.

Now, then. . .

PATTING MYSELF ON THE BACK, BECAUSE IT IS MY BLOG. . . A few of youse suggested yesterday I look into copywriting Run-DLC as the nickname for Elly De La Cruz. So I did. Turns out you can’t copyright a name/nickname unless you’re using it for business purposes. If I were to decide tomorrow to open a t-shirt shop, I could copyright Run-DLC. Otherwise, no.

Many years ago, when Corey Dillon was running angrily through opposing D-lines, I started referring to him as The Dillonator. A few months later, I noticed Corey wearing a shoe made for him by Nike, aka Evil Sneaker Empire. It was named, you guessed it, The Dillonator.

Sigh.

The Lost Decade@ has been used a whole lot in the quarter century or so since I coined it to describe the Bengals between 1991 and Marvin Lewis. Ditto, Bengal Moment.

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MY FAVORITE CAR EVER. . . We did the Bad Car thing Here a few weeks ago. We decided Chevettes were badder than Vegas. Let’s flip it.

Camaro or Mustang?

‘65 ‘Stang or ‘67 Camaro.

I had a ‘65 Mustang. I like the Camaro better. I saw this one at a certain antiques place in the East End last weekend. The original sold for about $2,500. You can’t find one restored now for under $50K.

Feel free to nominate a different model. My brother had, I believe, a ‘74 Chevelle SS. That was very cool. I knew a guy whose older bro had a black Pontiac GTO convertible, circa 1966.

Men of a Certain Age will recall how much we looked forward every year to the release of the new models. Such distinct styling. Now, we look at the new ones and think, “Kleenex box.’’ Yeah?

SO YOU’RE SAYING THERE’S A CHANCE. . .Luis Arraez hitting .400 in this era would be beyond epic. Teddy Ballgame hit .406 against white guys who weren’t throwing 100 coming out of the bullpen. ESPN.com:

It's been 82 years since Ted Williams was the last hitter to accomplish the feat for an entire season and 20 years since any player hit better than .400 through his team's first 64 games (Chipper Jones did it in 2008).

Said Miami Marlins manager Skip Schumaker: "The kid literally wakes up and hits. No, he literally does. Then he gets to the field and hits. He's just so different than the guys that slug and have high batting averages. He's literally looking at the defense and picking a hole where he's trying to hit it. I've never seen that."

Most unusual might be his abnormally low hard-hit rate. Usually, a high hard-hit rate correlates with more hits. And yet 98% of qualified MLB hitters hit the ball harder than Arraez.

I USED TO THINK WE’D ALL GONE CRAZY. . .

AP:

Nine people were wounded in a mass shooting early Tuesday in Denver in an area where basketball fans had been celebrating the Nuggets' first NBA title win, police said, and a suspect was taken into custody.

The shooting happened about 12:30 a.m. local time -- about 3½ hours after the game -- and three of the injured were in critical condition

The shooting happened about a mile from Ball Arena, where the Nuggets defeated the Miami Heat in Game 5 of the NBA Finals on Monday night.

. . . NOW I’M SURE OF IT.

Yahoo!:

More details have emerged on the harassment Brittney Griner faced from a conservative YouTube personality last week, an incident that has led to a promise of "adjustments" from the Phoenix Mercury.

According to a police report obtained by ESPN, the man, who was described by the WNBA as a "provocateur," approached Griner as her team was walking through a concourse at Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport on Saturday morning.

A Mercury security guard stayed between Griner and the YouTuber, who tried to push his way toward the All-Star while directing a series of offensive statements toward her. Among other things, he asked her if the U.S. made a fair trade exchanging her for Russian arms dealer Viktor Bout, asked if she had sex with Russian president Vladimir Putin to get out of prison and claimed she hates America.

TUNE O’ THE DAY. . . This Run-DMC collaboration with Aerosmith is familiar enough, even the youngsters might recognize it.